A Gift For Miss Ritchi
by SapphireGirl93
Summary: Sequel to An Unpredictable Thanksgiving. Megamind has something special in mind for his favorite reporter this Christmas, but as usual, his magnificent plans aren't turning out quite as he had hoped. When the arrival of an unexpected visitor threatens to spoil his gift for her, can the villain and his plucky victim put their heads together to make his plan a success?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back! After a busy year and a long hiatus from writing, I thought it was about time I rolled up my sleeves and got back into the game. With the holiday season coming right up, I decided since I received so many requests for a sequel to _An Unpredictable Thanksgiving_, a continuation of Megamind and Roxanne's Turkey Day misadventure would be a great place to start. (If you haven't read_ An Unpredictable Thanksgiving_, go to my profile page and give that one a read before you start this one.)**

**Thanks everyone, I hope you enjoy!**

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Roxanne sat on her couch with a frown as she waited for her ride to show up, and gazed out the patio door at the drizzly, slate gray sky. All morning she'd been mulling over how dishearteningly indifferent she felt this time around about her favorite day of the year… Christmas usually carried with it an aura of excitement for her that started well before Thanksgiving and stretched on through the beginning of the New Year. An excitement that made each day leading up to the big event more delightful than the last and brought a joyful, exhilarating glow with the dawn of the Yuletide itself.

But not this year; this had been the most disappointingly humdrum holiday season she'd ever experienced, and it had all started with a food fight.

The disgruntled journalist blamed every bit of her lack of enthusiasm on Megamind. Since he'd shown up on Thanksgiving and stole away the _one_ day she'd always been able to count on as a break from the annoyance of enduring his goofy schemes, she'd found her thoughts reverting back to that afternoon again and again. As much as she hated to admit it, what had started out to be about as much fun as a visit to the dentist had ended up as a surprisingly enjoyable day spent with the devilish pair of villains, tucked away in the mysterious, secretive vastness of Evil Lair.

In fact, deep down in the quiet of her heart where no one would be privy to her innermost thoughts, the brunette could easily admit to herself that the unexpected social call had been a blast… fun enough to pretty much ruin the idea of spending her holidays anywhere else for a long, long time. And that_, right there,_ was her problem. She knew that what was ending up to be her fondest Christmas wish that year, spending another holiday with the city's most infamous partners in crime, wasn't going to come true.

Ugh, why did those two have to turn out to be so exciting, and such a kick to be with? And funny, and absurdly endearing - in a slick, villainous way of course. And why the heck did she have to notice that thoughtful, and even, dare she say it… _sweet_ side… that Megamind had always kept so carefully hidden away until that nutty afternoon? She'd had quite a few pleasantly surprising revelations about her leather-shrouded rival and his scaly buddy that day, and she often caught herself snickering fondly as her mind strayed in that direction of its own accord ever since Minion had deposited her safely back in her apartment.

It appeared Megamind was going through much the same thing too; her run-ins with the scoundrel since that afternoon had been pleasantly _interesting_. Roxanne couldn't help but notice that despite his usual promises of danger and terror beyond her darkest dreams, he'd been going quite a lot easier on her, and her safety and comfort was even more meticulously looked after - albeit secretly - than it had ever been. And her teasing about his predictability, something that at one time nearly sent him through the roof with irritation, was now met with the knowing smile of a friend laughing on the sly at an inside joke.

With a downhearted snort, Roxanne shook her head at the memory of it all and sighed deeply as she tried once again to push it out of her mind, and forced her gaze to settle on the Christmas tree that sparkled in the corner by her patio door. The weeks following her unexpected social call to the villainous duo's hideout had proven to be so dishearteningly low in the holiday cheer department… if she could just try to concentrate on the lights and decorations for a moment and shut off the wistful thoughts of sitting back in those velvety chairs and laughing with the goofy pair of villains, she might just be able to reclaim some of her usual jolly holiday mindset. Yeah! That would work, it had to!

But she'd better hurry; Wayne's chauffeur would be along to pick her up within the next couple of hours to sweep her off to the Scott's place so she could join in their celebration. _Ughhhhh, no…_

She immediately chided herself. _No, now don't do that! Spending the day with Wayne won't be so bad. It'll be fun, come on Roxanne! Perk up!  
_

With renewed effort, she let her eyes slip over the softly twinkling tree and take in the details of every ornament. Each one meant something special to her and reminded her of holidays gone by and the loved ones she'd spent them with. As she let the memories take over, she could feel her spirits begin to rise a little, and allowed a lighthearted smile to begin tugging at the corner of her mouth… until her gaze suddenly halted on the satiny smoothness of one of the glass balls, its color the clear blue of a robin's egg.

Her happy ascent from the holiday humdrums came to a screeching halt as that pretty color of blue instantly conjured in her mind the image of a blue, bald head that was as smooth as the ball that hung from her tree. And then from there, of course, she couldn't help but visualize green eyes peeping up from over the edge of the table as they huddled in their respective corners, laughing immaturely as they waited for an opportunity to lob another handful of their glorious turkey dinner at each other. _Gosh, that was so much fun…_

_Gah! What's the use? _She acquiesced. No matter how she looked at it or how hard she tried to convince herself she'd have a good time, she just didn't want to spend the day with the Scotts. Who _would_ want to sit around in their boring, hoity-toity mansion and listen to Wayne's mother drop undisguised hints about "tying the knot" with her perfect, brawny baby boy and the benefits of spring weddings, or watch Lord Scott sit with his nose buried in the Wall Street Journal all day and completely ignore the rest of his self-centered family?

For the hundredth time, Roxanne wished Megamind would show up at the last minute and spirit her off for another crazy holiday bash at Evil Lair, but that wasn't going to happen. Despite the fact that in the end they all seemed to have enjoyed themselves immensely, he'd made it quite clear several times that her surprise social visit was a one-time affair… _"We don't have guests!"_

With a huff, she got up and crossed the room to look out her patio door at the drab winter skyline. Geez, even the weather didn't seem to want her to enjoy the holidays this year. Instead of the usual fluffy blanket of white that bejeweled the streets and brightened rooftops throughout most of the month of December, the city had remained stubbornly dark and gray, and a ceaseless downpour of rain and sleet had taken the place of the lazily spinning snowflakes that would normally be floating down like icy feathers. How was she supposed to "make the season bright" when she felt like she had absolutely nothing to work with?

Leaning forward and resting her shoulder and the side of her head against the cold glass, she reached out absent mindedly to pick at the needles and adjust the placement of the lights, and wondered if there was a way she could get out of going to Wayne's for the day. Spending Christmas alone sounded like a much more enjoyable prospect then the drudgery that was waiting to pounce at the ring of her doorbell.

As much as she'd like to, she knew there was really no way she could manage it. For one, she hated the idea of hurting Wayne's feelings. Second, she'd already begged off the last holiday; if she skipped out on Christmas too she'd never hear the end of it from Lady Scott, and the continuous guilt trips and prying questions would end up being the death of her – or at least be enough to give her a headache and nervous twitch at every meeting with the shallow woman for a good long time. If Megamind wanted to put her through a truly horrifying scheme, he need look no further than locking her alone in a room for several hours with the very pushy Lady Scott.

She snickered at the idea, but then immediately scolded herself for her negativity. _Ah, knock it off. She's nice enough, don't be so hard on her. Come on, cheer up so you can go into this with a good attitude, or this is going to be a LONG day!_

As she stared unfocused at her tree and found her eyes curiously drawn again toward that same blue glass ball that hung from the fragrant branch in front of her, she began to notice a sound coming from her locked front door; a rustle in the hallway outside that was accompanied by a quiet click, as though someone was gingerly laying their hand on the knob.

Momentarily taking note that it was incredibly odd that Wayne's notoriously late chauffeur would be arriving so soon, she flicked her eyes to the door, and thought, _Well, might as well get this show on the road; at least there's less time to sit here and brood about it this way._

Deciding not to wait for the elderly gentleman to knock, Roxanne turned and approached the door with a reluctant sigh. Being the safety conscious city girl that she was, and doubly so because of her unique knack for being kidnapped on a regular basis, the journalist stopped a moment before opening the door to peer through the peek-hole. Instead of finding the tidy chauffeur in his pressed black suit and bow tie standing in her hallway like she expected, she saw… nothing. Just an empty hallway, the blank walls illuminated in the background by the recessed lighting hidden in the ceiling above.

Backing away from the peek-hole to think, she wondered for a split second if she'd been hearing things. It was entirely possible; those neighbors upstairs could be _so_ noisy, and whatever she'd just heard could easily have come from their apartment. But as those thoughts were processing through her mind, she heard it again. There was no mistaking it this time. Without a doubt, it came from right outside the door… a bump, and a distinct rustling sound, like heavy cloth sliding across the carpet. Leaning forward quietly to peer through the hole again, she noticed for a second time the snicking sound of the knob and looked down just in time to see it jiggle, ever so slightly.

Her internal alarms immediately began to sound; _someone_ was definitely out there, and it certainly _wasn't_ old Edgar, like she originally thought. Whoever it was couldn't have good intentions with all that sneaking around, and as that realization settled in, she could feel an anxious knot begin to tighten in her stomach. She'd wished for a way to get out of spending the day at the Scott's place, but _this_ wasn't quite what she had in mind…

Reaching out quietly to the table by the door, the prepared reporter felt around in her purse and grabbed her pepper spray, holding it tightly at the ready, and leaned in one more time to try and catch a glimpse of the sneaky would-be intruder. Situating herself at the hole, she silently aligned herself with the tiny portal that was her only window to the hallway beyond, and waited.

For several seconds, she saw nothing; just another view of the bland looking wall brightened by an ovular splotch of light. After a moment she almost began to doubt herself. In fact, if not for the occasional scraping swish outside the door and the irregular clicking jiggle of the knob, she might have given up her attempt and moved on to a more productive use of her time, but the stubborn brunette resolutely stood her watch. Her patience was rewarded in short order when she caught a glimpse of a blackish object, just the barest tip of something pointy that peeked itself up into her line of sight for a second, and then disappeared.

_What… Oh wait - HA! That sneaky little… _she interrupted herself when the blackish, pointy thing reappeared, followed by a thin sliver of robin's egg blue at the bottom of her field of vision; a leathery spike fringing the back of a very familiar bald alien head.

In the instant it took her to process exactly who it was lurking furtively outside her front door, all her anxiety evaporated and was replaced by an intense, giddy excitement that had been missing from her emotional repertoire all that holiday season long_. He's here! YES!_

But, what was he doing out there, poking around in the hallway so quietly? His usual MO included either kicking or blasting the door down if the lock wasn't readily thrown, or using the hover-bike to swoop in through the balcony and whisk her away with a shot in the face of that musty smelling spray. This was a little weird. But, eh, who cares! Even if she had to sit through one of Megamind's insanely shoddy master plans, although she _dearly_ hoped that wasn't what he had in mind, it would certainly be better than the plans she already had laid out for her day. As much as she hated the idea of calling Wayne to bow out of yet another holiday, she was game to go ahead and make the call if it meant a chance of spending another day of fun with her kidnappers.

_Bye-bye, Goody Two Shoes, _she thought in happy mimicry of the villain who stood just outside as she tossed her pepper spray back in her purse, _looks like your perfect party is going to be one guest short this year!_

Despite being thrilled at her captor's appearance, she was still keenly aware that it would be unprofessional of her as his victim to allow him to see her excitement. Trying to replace the grin she was sporting for her best poker-face in an attempt to shore up her enthusiasm, she put her ear to the door and listened to the shuffling outside, waiting for the perfect moment to throw the door wide and usher him in.

The sneaky devil was _still_ slinking around out there and messing with the door; what was he doing out there for such a long time? She'd recently replaced her standard deadbolt with one that was more upscale in hopes that it might be a little more Megamind-proof, if for no other reason than to give her a few extra minutes to prepare herself before he busted his way in, which was what he inevitably ended up doing anyway. But this time, she was puzzled as to why he continued to gingerly work at the lock - what was this soft-handed approach all about? Her curiosity _burned_ in the back of her mind as she wondered and anxiously waited to find out just what it was he had planned.

As she continued to listen to the activity outside the door, she could easily tell he was beginning to get a little antsy; that fancy dead bolt must be working better than she'd expected! The soft scraping of fabric - obvious to her now that it was his cape sliding across the carpet - was still present, but now it was accompanied with frequent soft bumps against the heavy wood of her door, and the occasional irritated mutter drifting through the barrier. Ditching her determination to remain as straight-faced as possible in light of his surprise visit, the journalist's nose wrinkled with an amused grin at the mental image of him kneeling in front of her lock and trying his darnedest to pick it - without a lick of success.

_Juuuuust another second_… she thought as she silently laid her hand on the knob and tensed herself, grinning from ear to ear in anticipation…

The muttering had now grown slightly in both frequency and volume, and the bumping had evolved to a flat out scraping of a body part of some sort across the wood; he must have gotten tired and annoyed with all that hunkering down in the hallway, and simply rested his weight against her door to steady himself in hopes of simplifying his break-in. _Perfect!_ Roxanne had to clap her hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle that threatened to escape at any minute, and spoil her surprise.

_Ok, ready - one… two… THREE! _

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**This story is already complete and ready to be published, so the next chapter will be uploaded sometime next week. Be on the lookout! Thanks for reading, and if you're having fun so far, I'd love to hear from you. Reviews are always appreciated!**

**Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for coming back! Hope you enjoy it :)**

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At the culmination of Roxanne's countdown, she quickly slid the lock open and threw the door wide, and jumped back to watch the black-cloaked alien come tumbling into her apartment with a stunned look on his face.

"Ahahhahahaaahaa!" she roared as she watched the shocked look instantly melt into one of irritation and utter humiliation.

"Har, har. Oh my, that was hysterical. _Very_ mature." he quipped, glaring up at her from the tangle of cape, arms and legs that he had fallen into all over her hardwood floor upon his surprise entry into her apartment.

"Ohmygosh, you… you should have seen it!" she barely stumbled out amid breathless laughter. The blue-eyed trickster held her stomach and was bent nearly double as she giggled uncontrollably.

"Yes, I'm sure it was a riot. Go ahead, that's right - laugh it up! By all means!"

At this point, Roxanne's laughter had escalated to a point that made any kind of response nearly impossible. All she was able to do was stand on shaky legs and gasp for breath between giggles as she watched him pick himself up indignantly from the floor and attempt to straighten his suit and cape, all the while scowling darkly at her for ruining his entrance and bruising his pride.

When she finally managed to catch her breath, she snickered a final time and then asked mirthfully, "_What_ are you _doing_ out there?"

Taking another moment to reposition his menacing ensemble and reclaim a semblance of his dignity before responding, the incensed villain answered, "What do you _think_ I was doing? I haven't traded in my cape to become a door to door insurance salesman… what am I _always_ doing when I show up at your apartment, Miss Ritchi?"

"Okay then, I'll rephrase that. What were you doing taking your time out there like that?" she asked as she swung the door shut behind him.

"I was taking my time because _someone_ apparently replaced the lock on their front door!" he snapped as though he was offended that she would even consider the idea of preventing him from picking his way in any time he felt like it.

"Pfffft! So? You're _Megamind!_ You don't just sit there patiently and keep messing around with stubborn locks, you _always_ bust your way in with lasers blazing! What's going on?"

At her astute line of questioning, Megamind's infuriated expression softened a bit. The snoopy newshound rarely missed a beat, and since she was already sniffing out the trail that there was something different about this particular apartment crashing, he might as well get right on with his explanation.

"Alright, fine. First of all_, of course_, what else would I be doing but stealing you away for another…"

Roxanne instantly knew where he was going with that, and oddly enough, she began to feel a sudden and confusing mix of emotions. Only a few moments ago, she'd been certain that a_nything, _even being tied to the obligatory chair, was better than spending the day at the Scott's, but when she'd seen his spiky collar and the back of his blue head in her hallway, she couldn't help but get her hopes up that he'd shown up to whisk her off for a repeat of their secret Thanksgiving bash at the Lair. Realizing now that his appearance was for nothing of the sort, just another one of his run of the mill schemes, she instantly felt those hopes sink to her toes.

Along with a shocking amount of disappointment, she began to feel a volcanic flare of temper rising hot and bright inside her, and with it, her famous stubborn streak instantly kicked in.

_Heck no! Sit in that stupid chair instead of celebrating the holiday with you? Not this reporter, bub! _

Suddenly, as though listening in on another conversation from across the room, she heard herself snap, "Ughhh, Megamind! Do you even realize what day this is? It's _CHRISTMAS! _Everyone has their favorite holiday – come on, even _you_ have _your_ favorite! Well, this one happens to be mine; can't you just leave well enough alone for one day? What about my Kidnapping Package that you conveniently decided to change to suit your needs so you could steal my Thanksgiving from me? Well, this time I'm actually going to use it for my benefit… I want my scheduled yearly holiday off, and I want it now!"

Megamind froze in mid-sentence to listen to her unexpected rant. Stole her Thanksgiving from her? Now that stung a little. Yes, that day had certainly started out on the rough side for everyone, but he remembered things ending quite a bit differently than the way she was explaining it now. In fact, he was surprised to hear her talk about in such negative terms; he thought she had enjoyed herself just as much as he did.

Rather than responding right away, the wounded alien wisely decided to wait for his suddenly grouchy victim to run out of steam. When it appeared that she'd settled a bit, he held up a placating hand, and before she could start in again he quickly and calmly countered, "Now, hold on; you didn't let me finish! That little detail hasn't been lost on me, Roxanne. I've always known Christmas was your favorite holiday… in fact, that's the whole reason why I'm here!"

He paused for a moment to allow her an opportunity to reply, but his statement was met with nothing more than a deeper creasing of her brow and a stubborn scowl. After several seconds of glares and tense silence, he continued, "_Yes_, I have a plan, but this one is different. I've put _countless_ hours of planning into this one! In fact, I've been working on it since Cyber Monday when that impressively horrifying scheme I promised you, didn't exactly… pan out."

He finished flatly and looked down for a moment with a distressed expression, as though silently berating himself for his fatally botched design. Roxanne knew exactly what was running through the villain's mind as he stood there glowering at the floor… the empty room with nothing but a metal chair on a dais in the exact center that was wired and bristling with thick electrical cables, the floor rapidly filling with water, the countdown that was perfectly timed to release 150,000 volts of current at the exact moment the water reached her as she sat waiting for rescue from a very preoccupied Metro Man.

Things had been going swimmingly for the excited villain that morning. In fact, as her thoughts drifted back to being strapped to the Metal Chair of Death, she even remembered feeling _more_ than bit nervous as the time ticked away and she watched the water level approaching the top of her platform and listened to the electric whine of the conductors. But of course, as in all of Megamind's schemes, everything turned upside-down at the last possible moment.

As it turned out, the whopping current of electricity had been far too strong for his hurriedly slapped together circuit-board to handle, and just at the climactic moment, it burst into flames with a zap, and a whiff of acrid smelling smoke and burned wires. Not only did the shoddy design instantly stop the progression of his plan and make it a cinch for Metro Man to scoop him up and haul him back to prison, but it blacked out the entire west side of the city for the remainder of the day. Although she was still annoyed with her visitor, the testy reporter had to bite her lip to stop the snicker as she recalled him scurrying haphazardly around the control room trying to put out the fire.

After a moment of quiet and regretful reflection, Megamind cleared his throat, and continued in a business-like tone, "Well, anyway. Enough about _that_; all I'm going to say is that things will be very different this time around! And that actually brings me to the second thing I was going to tell you before you _rudely_ interrupted me… as I said, I know Christmas has always been your favorite day of the year, so in light of the spirit of the sentimental embarrassment this holiday is notorious for, I have something for you. A gift, I suppose you could say."

Roxanne's narrowed eyes opened wide. "You have a gift. A gift for… _me?_"

The villain suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Holiday gift giving was entirely new to him, and he wasn't sure whether he liked or loathed the warm, fuzzy feeling that was currently wrapping him up like a fluffy fleece blanket. Completely aware of the fact that his announcement might be giving the impression to his victim that he had gone soft, the blue devil stammered out awkwardly, "Um, well… yes. Of sorts…"

"_Of sorts? _What's _that_ supposed to mean? Is this a trick?" she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing at him again.

"No, it's not a trick!" he snapped back defensively.

"Well, for someone who's supposed to bearing gifts, you're looking pretty light on packages…" she quipped as she looked at him doubtfully. The only thing he was holding when he fell into her apartment was the lock-pick, and there was no _way_ he could hide any sort of package in that skin tight suit of his - not even a gift card would fit in there without making its presence blatantly known.

"It's _not_ that kind of gift… _Ughhh_, why do you always have to interrupt and ask so many questions? Look, do you want it or not? If you don't want it that's just fine with me, we can just pretend I never mentioned it and get right on with things!"

Judging by the look on his face, Roxanne realized he must have been telling the truth; her captor looked as though he was genuinely offended that she didn't believe him. The first time he'd ever tried to reach out to her with such a generous gesture, and she shot him down before he even had a chance to explain what he had in mind. A tight nugget of guilt began to knot in her chest and she suddenly found herself feeling afraid that he might retract his offer after her snappy behavior. It wasn't so much the gift itself that mattered to her, although she was incredibly curious about what sort of gift her kidnapper might give; it was the fact that Megamind had been thinking about her enough to want to give her any sort of gift at all. That was something the reporter _didn't_ want to miss out on.

In a softer tone, Roxanne answered, "No… I'm sorry. Let's just chalk it up to a bit of built-in suspicion after so many years of riding the Good-Versus-Evil Express. Listen, if you still want to give me this gift you're talking about, it's fine. I'd really like to hear what it is…"

Megamind's puffed up defenses instantly deflated at her apology. With a wide grin spreading across his face, he said, "Of course I still want to give it to you, that's pretty much the whole reason why I'm here! Your gift this year is… a choice. You get to decide whether you want to be part of my plans today or not!"

Roxanne looked at him blankly as he stood in front of her, practically bursting with anticipation as he waited for her reaction. A _choice_… maybe he was trying to pull a trick on her after all? She could feel her frustration with him beginning to rise for a second time; he'd _better_ not be pulling a fast one on her after she'd allowed herself to get her hopes up again!

"So, you're giving me a _choice_ for Christmas. Hmmm, okay. Now why don't you tell me just why the heck I would _ever_ willingly choose to say yes to being part of your half-baked plans, huh? And what happens if I say no? Are you just going to tell me _too bad_, and then whip out the knock out spray and throw the bag over my head? Wow, Megamind, of all the…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Simmer down! Before you shoot down the idea you need to let me explain first! To answer your last question; if you say no, I leave. No questions asked, I'll just turn right around and walk out the door, and leave you here to go on about your boring little day… go out the door I purposely refused to blast down with my De-gun even though that new lock just about drove me insane, might I add…" he said with an illustrative point of his index finger, "…just to make sure I wouldn't spoil your holiday! But, if you _do_ decide to come with me, you won't regret it. There's much more to this gift than meets the eye, Miss Ritchi; now doesn't that piece of information tempt that overdeveloped curiosity of yours just a _little_ bit?"

"What do you mean, more than meets the eye?" she asked, feeling her curiosity being piqued, just as her visitor had guessed.

He recognized that glimmer in her eyes; Roxanne Ritchi could rarely resist the temptation to uncover the secret layers behind his impressive and complicated schemes. Just one last, well placed comment, and he knew he'd have her hooked. With a mischievous smirk, he answered simply, "Well, I guess you'll just have to come along to find that out for yourself."

She stared at that big blue mug for another moment, his smug grin absolutely driving her up the wall. But however annoying he was at the moment, he was still right. She was curious. Not just curious, she _needed_ to know what he meant by that teaser he left for her, and once again the brunette felt her hopes beginning to rise.

"Alright, I'll go."

"I knew it!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I'm sure you did. How could I have said no when you put that way? I'd have to be crazy to pass up an offer like that! So, where are we going? Back to the Lair?"

"Ah, ah, you know I'm not giving out any spoilers, my snoopy little correspondent. You're just going to have to wait to find out!" he answered tauntingly, wagging a finger at her in the air.

Roxanne smiled to herself as she walked to the hall closet to extract her coat. His excitement was contagious and happened to be one of his most endearing qualities. Although she'd never let on to him, she loved to see him getting worked up about things, and the fact that he was showing this level of anticipation about giving her this mysterious Christmas gift was touching.

"Alright, fine, keep your secrets for now! You're such a kid, you know that?" she teased with a snicker as she slid her arms into the sleeves of her heavy wool jacket. "How's this thing going to work, anyway? You give me the rest of my gift, and then we just get right on with the show?"

"Yes, something like that. You'll get your gift right away, and then we'll move right along with the plan. You know, _if_ we get around to it…"

Just as she was wondering how he was planning to get her to the invisible car without drawing attention to themselves and without spurring a rash of emergency calls for help before they even had a chance to get out of the building, she realized what he'd just said. _Get around to it? That's an odd statement…_

Turning to ask him exactly what he meant, she was suddenly interrupted by the buzzing of her doorbell.

"Oh oh…" she said quietly, her eyes instantly making contact with his as he waited patiently for her to finish grabbing her things.

"What?"

Ignoring his question, she glanced at the clock in her kitchen, and mumbled to herself, "It can't be him, he's always late; it's _way_ too early for him to show up."

Despite her self-reassurances, a feeling of uneasiness was welling up inside her. Walking past her blue visitor without saying another word, she made her way to the door and leaned forward, pressing her eye to the peek-hole…

"Oh crap!" she hissed, swinging around to look at the surprised alien. "It's _WAYNE!_" 

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**Be sure to check back in a few days for chapter 3. **

**Reviews would be appreciated. Thanks for reading! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again everyone! I hope your Christmas season is off to a wonderful start!**

**Thanks for coming back to read... enjoy! :)**

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Megamind glanced at the door, his green eyes growing wide with the shock of this unpleasant new development. Lowering his voice to an almost silent whisper, he asked, "Well what's _he_ doing here? I didn't think you were supposed to be at his place until 1; it's only just past 11 right now!"

"I'm not! I have no idea why he's here this early… and actually, what's he even doing here at all? When we talked last night he said he was sending Edgar to pick me up! Wait a minute, how do _you_ know what time I'm supposed to show up at his place?" she said as she grabbed his arm and pulled him as far away from the door as they could get to provide some small semblance of protection from her heroic friend's super hearing.

She didn't typically worry about Wayne using his gifted senses to pry into her private affairs; she'd long ago extracted a solemn promise from him, under pain of _never_ speaking to him again if he did, that he wouldn't use them to snoop around or listen in on her unless she was in real danger of some sort. Even though moving to the other side of the room wouldn't really provide them with any sort of privacy if he did choose to listen in on what was happening inside her apartment, under the circumstances, she couldn't help but think it was the prudent thing to do.

Megamind rolled his eyes and gave her an _are-you-serious_ expression, and quipped back, "Roxanne, this is me you're talking to… of _course _I know where you're supposed to be and when! It's my _job_ to know that; I have your every moved figured down to a _science._"

Just then, their attention was stolen by another buzz of her doorbell as it echoed through her apartment, accompanied by a cheerful voice ringing out from the hallway, "Hey Rox! Good morning, Merry Christmas!"

Roxanne glanced tensely at the door, and then turned back to her guest to hiss again with a panicky lilt, "He's not supposed to be here this early! What do I do? What do I say if he sees you here?"

Megamind looked crestfallen at the idea. If Wayne did see him there, that would be the end of any hope for the surprise he'd been working on for weeks and could hardly wait to share with her. In fact, he'd been so excited the night before, he stayed up nearly all night adding the last minute finishing touches to make certain everything was perfect.

"If he sees me here you won't have to say anything at all; he'll drag me off and this thing will be over before it even has a chance to get started…"

"NO! That's _not_ an option!" she snapped with more force in her hushed voice than she intended. "I know this sounds kind of crazy, but I _really_ don't want to go over there with him today!"

Megamind was quite surprised at her vehement protest to the idea of spending her holiday with her own _boyfriend_, but before he had a chance to allow his thoughts to register completely, he was interrupted by another buzz of her doorbell and a solid thump at the heavy wooden door.

"Roxanne, you in there? HelllOOO-ooooo!"

"Just a minute!" she called out, her blue eyes still locked pleadingly on his.

"Well just… get _rid_ of him! Say anything you want, make something up!" he whispered as he threw his arms in the air in frustration.

"I can't…"

Megamind looked confused. "What do you mean, you can't?"

"Well, it's not that I _can't_, I just don't want to _lie_ to him. I hate lying! I'm not very good at it."

"_What?_ Not very _good_ at it? Listen, your strapping boyfriend is going to take that door down and find me here, and haul my keester off to prison in about 37 seconds if we don't come up with something! You need to decide, right _now_; do you want to go with him or come with me?"

That was the most awkward choice Roxanne had ever been given. Decide between the hero that was treated like a god and adored by millions, or the villain that a whole city loved to hate. Her pink painted toenails curled at the implications, but… spending a whole holiday at the Scott's?

With that thought, her mind was made up.

"I want to go with you!" she whispered earnestly, her eyes flicking uncomfortably to the door again as another series of knocks began to reverberate through the air.

The villain froze at her declaration, a tiny smile beginning to pull up one corner of his mouth. For some reason, hearing those words come out of her mouth was absolutely… stunning! The most amazing sentence he thought he'd ever heard.

"Roxy, are you okay? What's taking so long?"

"Sorry Wayne, just a minute!" she called out, and then turned to hiss under her breath, "Megamind, _wake UP!_ You're the genius here, you've got to help me come up with something. How am I going to get _rid_ of him?"

"Oh yes, right! Let's see… okay, first of all, what you to need to do is run upstairs and take off your clothes…"

"_EXCUSE me?"_ she broke in with a horrified expression as she socked him hard in the chest.

"Ow! Hey!"

"What was that? Roxanne, is everything alright in there?" came a concerned voice from the hallway.

"Yes, I'm fine! Coming!" she exclaimed, all the while giving Megamind a warning glare through dangerously lowered brows.

"You did it again; you're not letting me _finish!_ Now, take these things off," he instructed, noticing for the first time since his arrival how lovely she looked in her satiny red dress, "and put your pajamas and bathrobe on, muss up your hair as much as you can, and hurry up and get back down here before Metro Twat charges through that door like a rhino!"

She looked at him doubtfully for a moment, feeling very uncertain about the situation she was getting herself mixed up in. But when he glanced at the door as another buzz rang through the air and then waved her off with an urgent shooing motion, she turned, and bolted up to her room.

* * *

"Okay, I'm ready." she called out in a whisper as she began to scurry down the steps to her living room. Reaching the main floor and cinching up the tie to her thick terrycloth bathrobe… which she decided to throw on over the top of her dress rather than change completely; Megamind's request to come back dressed in nothing but her PJ's and robe would have taken far too long, and seemed just a little too weird in present company… she immediately began scanning the room for her guest.

"Megamind, I'm here. Now what do I… what are you _doing?_" she whispered irritably as she stepped into her kitchen and found her co-conspirator apparently making himself quite comfortable as he casually leaned against the counter, holding a steaming cup of hot tea.

"It's part of the ruse," he answered quickly as he put the hot cup in her hands, his eyes flicking toward the door nervously as another round of antsy buzzing and knocking began to echo through the apartment. "Now this is what you need to do; tell him you're sick. _Far_ too sick to go to his place today, so you're going to stay here to rest, and then get rid of him as quick as you can… shut the door in his face if you have to, but just get him out of here, pronto!"

"What about you? What are you going to do?"

"Well, what do you _want_ me to do? Open the door for you and tell him to get lost? He'd haul me off as soon as he laid eyes on me, and then you'd still have to go to his lame-o party rather than coming with me. There's not a lot I _can_ do here, so I'm just going to hang back in the pantry until he's gone."

"So, _that's_ your plan?" she snapped in a hoarse whisper, much louder than she intended. "Play sick like a third grader while you hang out in the background and let me do this whole thing on my own? _NO!_ I'm telling you, I'm not good at lying like this, he'll catch on… I can't do it! It's not going to work!"

"_Roxanne!_ I heard that…" came an impatient and worried voice from the hallway, "What the heck is going on in there? Hold on, I'm coming in _right now_…"

"_NO!_ Uh, no Wayne, it's ok. It's just the… TV! It's the TV, I'm fine! Don't break the door down, I just got a new lock and I don't want to have to replace it again. Hold on a minute, I'll be right there!"

"Is he _always_ this pushy?" Megamind huffed as he shot an impatient glare at the door. Then turning back to the apprehensive newswoman, he said, "Look, do you have any better ideas? I'm coming up with this in a pinch here; it's not as if I had all week to plan it out! Now, you told me you're not very good at lying, but that little lie sounded pretty good to me! See, you can do this! Now go on, hurry up before he plows the door down!"

"Ughhhh, ok fine." she grumbled as she turned to quickly shuffle to the door, her fuzzy slippers softly scuffing across the hardwood. "But this had better work!"

With that last comment, she turned to shoot him a final glare, but saw nothing but her empty kitchen; he had already wisely ducked for cover in the pantry.

Turning again to the door and laying her hand on the knob, she squeezed her eyes shut tight and drew in a deep breath, wondering how she'd managed to get herself into a mess like this, and how she'd fare with this underhanded task that was making her feel so horribly uncomfortable.

_It's okay, I can do this… I can do this…_

After taking a second to steel herself, she opened the door.

* * *

"Hey, Wayne." she said dully, keeping in mind that she was supposed to be terribly sick and taking care not to allow herself to sound too perky.

"What took you so long to open the door? I was out here for… wait, what's wrong? Why are you still in your robe? Are you alright?" asked the giant of a man with concern when he stepped into her apartment and saw the brunette still dressed in her night clothes and holding a cup of tea.

"Actually, no. I'm not alright… well, you know, I _am_, but I'm not." she stumbled out uncomfortably. "Not completely - I'm sick. So sick! I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a _ripping_ headache. I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be able to come over today."

Wayne's brow furrowed. For some reason, Roxanne was acting very on-edge. Maybe it was as simple as a headache putting her out of sorts as she said, but after all the years he'd spent dealing with rescues and drama of that sort, her unusually uptight behavior and the long wait on her doorstep was making him wonder if there was more to the story that she wasn't telling him.

Not wanting to let on that he was slightly suspicious, he said with a downcast tone, "Wow, my mom is going to be really disappointed when she finds out. Are you sure? You sounded fine when we talked last night; that came on pretty quick."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. It's the weirdest thing. I felt ok before bed but woke up feeling like I was whacked in the head with Megamind's forget-me stick. Just one of those things I guess, you never know when one of these bugs will grab hold of you."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, weighing out everything she was telling him. Of course, it was entirely possible for her to come down with a sudden virus in the middle of the night, and he had no reason to disbelieve her; she'd always been the most honest person he knew. But still…

_Looks like he's buying it, so far so good!_ She congratulated herself as she clutched the edge of the door, opening it wider and moving aside so his exit route was clear; a subliminal signal that said, "Code: time for you to get the heck out of here!"

"Well, thanks for stopping…"

"Why didn't you call me this morning to let me know? I drove all the way over here, you could have just picked up the phone to give me a heads up." he said, apparently not getting the idea that it was time for him to leave as he stepped deeper into her apartment and shrugged out of his rain-dampened coat.

Roxanne looked disappointedly at the open door, her hand still clutching the wooden edge, and then back at her gigantic friend. A flush of nervousness suddenly rippled through her, but she swallowed and calmly replied, "Oh, well, you _are_ here almost two hours early… which was, _unexpected._ And why you? What about Edgar? Anyway, I was going to call, but you beat me to it. I let myself sleep in this morning; I was just trying to rest up as much as I could."

Suddenly, her rescuer's gigantic hand reached out and plastered itself to her forehead. "I gave Edgar the morning off so I could come by early and surprise you. You don't feel feverish, what did you say was wrong with you?"

His hands-on approach took her by surprise. He was only trying to be helpful, but she couldn't help but feel annoyed that he was still hanging around and asking so many questions. The more questions he asked, the longer he'd be there, and the more opportunity she'd have to say something wrong and mess the whole thing up. And then there was Megamind, holed up quietly in that dark pantry – there was no telling what sort of trouble he might get into while he waited without supervision, and the longer Wayne stuck around, the chances of something like that happening began to grow to a near certainty. She had to get him out of there, and she had to do it now.

Taking a step back and away from his reach, she answered, "I just have a sore throat and a headache, it's nothing major. I'm fine! All I need to do is get some rest, really!"

"I thought you said you were _SO_ sick…"

Roxanne paused; she hated lying! This was exactly what she was afraid would happen!

"Well, yeah. I did, but I'm fine, all I meant was that I'm too sick to come for dinner today. And hey, speaking of that, you should probably get going so I can start on all that resting up I need to do and you can get back home. You don't want to miss dinner, right? Besides, I wouldn't want you to come down with anything after hanging out here with me."

Wayne chuckled unconcernedly. "Dinner doesn't start for a few hours yet, I'm good. And I'm not worried about coming down with whatever it is you have, you know my immune system is about as impervious to most of the viruses around here as it can get. Even if I did come down with something it would barely affect me, so I'm fine! I'll get out of your hair and let you rest in a little bit, I just want to make sure you're good and comfortable before I get going."

With that, he took her arm and led her across the room to her couch, helping her sit comfortably as he fluffed pillows and tucked a blanket cozily around her. As he doted on her, his astute eyes were busily scanning the room for signs of anything that might be amiss; without a doubt, that distinct feeling that there was far more going on with this sudden bout of illness than his friend was letting on was growing stronger. He'd made a vow never to use his super-senses to invade her privacy, and intended to keep that promise to her at all costs, but he wasn't about to go without checking the place out at least a little bit to make certain she was safe and everything was on the up and up before he left her alone for the day.

"Here, I'll get you another cup of tea, this one's pretty cold." he offered cheerfully as he took the now luke-warm mug from her hands.

As soon as he offered to get her a fresh cup of her favorite drink, the thought of Megamind hunkering down in her kitchen closet flashed into her mind; that's where she kept her tea bags. If he opened the door to pull one out for her…

"_NO!_ Don't!" she instantly piped up, "I don't want to be any trouble. Besides, I like it this way. Just leave it, I want it just the way it is!"

Wayne cast her a doubtful expression. "You like it like _this?_ Since when? Ever since I've known you, you've liked your tea almost hotter than even I can stand! It's no trouble, Roxy, don't worry about it. I'll be right back."

"Wait, no… just leave it. I want it like that, ok? I really do! And, I don't want you to go into the kitchen; it's a mess in there."

He turned around to scan the room behind him… tidy, polished counters, empty sink, dishes neatly stacked in the glass-front cabinets; everything looked as neat as a pin, just like always.

"Hmmm, looks fine to me, but if you need a hand getting things squared away I'd be happy to help with that! Now let me go get you that fresh cup and I'll be right back."

Roxanne was becoming extremely irritated with her thick-headed rescuer. Why did he always have to be such a boy scout? Her normally quick-thinking brain was beginning to feel a bit addled as she nervously tried to keep track of all the fibs she was spinning and attempted in vain to ignore the guilt that was hounding her for trying to pull one over on her friend.

_Aghh, this sucks! But it's too late to get out of it now… what the heck do I have to do to get rid of him?_

"Uh, Wayne, wait!"

* * *

**Well, I hope you're enjoying their adventure so far. :) Reviews are always welcome and very much appreciated! Thanks again! **


	4. Chapter 4

**On with the story... thanks for coming back! :)**

* * *

As their awkward exchange was going on in the living room, Megamind sat tucked away in the dark of the pantry, listening in on the progression of their conversation. She should have easily been able to get rid of him by now, but unfortunately, she wasn't kidding when she said she wasn't very good at lying. She was _terrible_ at it!

It seemed that every time she opened her mouth to come up with a new excuse, she'd get herself in deeper trouble. Of course, he realized he shouldn't be overly surprised. She was so _good_; never in a naïve or better-than-everyone-else sort of way, but she had a good heart that stood head and shoulders above anyone else he knew. He should have listened to her when she said she didn't think she'd be able to pull off a whopper like the one this was turning out to be… in fact, he was almost beginning to feel a little guilty for putting her in such a sticky and compromising situation.

But what else could he have done? Of course, there _had_ been another way he could have handled this situation. She still would have had to pitch in a little underhandedness to help him pull it off, but he could have easily handled all the real dirty work and had the deal done in short order, sending her disappointed boyfriend packing in minutes. It would have been a piece of cake, and they would have been sneaking on along their merry way by now… but that would have meant having to use something he _didn't_ want her to see; a prototype for one of his newest inventions. Information like that was far too volatile to be casually throwing around, especially in front of nosy journalists who happened to be dating your greatest adversary.

Deciding it was high time he step in to help the reporter as she tried in vain to oust her currently unwelcome visitor, the concealed villain began brainstorming ways he could sneakily expedite the process of convincing his foe to head on down the road without giving up his secret position. As he sat cramped in the corner of the small, black closet with his knees pressed up to his chest, he suddenly heard Wayne's smarmy voice announce, "I'll get you another cup of tea, this one's pretty cold."

Megamind instantly thought of Roxanne's extensive collection of tea bags sitting on a shelf just above him in the tiny pantry. There was absolutely nowhere for him to hide in there, he was tucked back as far in the minute space as possible. If Wayne opened up the door to grab one of those bags for her…

_Oh no… _

Suddenly seized by a moment of panic, Megamind reached for the first thing that came to his mind, his watch. Not just any watch; the multi-purpose tool that held his source of communication with Minion back at the Lair. If he could just get hold of him, maybe his henchman could rush out a unit of brainbots that lay strategically hidden all over the city to wreak havoc on some unsuspecting part of town, and draw Metro Doof away to intervene, giving him a chance to sneak away with Roxanne without being caught red-handed. It was a stretch, but in the heat of the moment it was the only thing his agitated brain could come up with.

As he hurriedly jerked his arm to the side to reach for the communique button, his elbow accidentally banged into the broom that was leaning against the wall next to him in the darkness. _That_ was a mistake. Despite his attempts to soften the blow and stop any further trouble before it started, that one little bump suddenly began a chain reaction in the confined space of the crowded pantry that caused cans to tip and boxes to tumble noisily off shelves, their contents spilling to the ground like flaky, whole-grain snow… and the avalanche sent an echo that thundered throughout the apartment.

_Oh, SHIT!_

* * *

"What was _that?_"

Roxanne's eyes shot open wide with shock at what sounded like an entire wall in her kitchen tumbling down, but at Wayne's insistent question, she drew a blank and responded with a nervous chuckle, "What?"

"What do you mean, _what?_ You heard that as well as I did! Roxanne, what's going on; you're acting really weird today. You're hiding something from me!"

"No, I'm not! Why would I do that? Look, I picked up some things from the market on the way home yesterday and sort of piled them up in the cupboard when I got back without paying attention. I was going to go back and fix it later but I never got around to it; something probably just tipped over. Nothing to worry about! Now Wayne, this headache is really starting to bother me and all this talking is making it worse; I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave so I can get some sleep."

How dumb did she think he was? There was no way he was about to buy that story; it was completely obvious now that she was covering something up, and no matter what it took, he was going to get to the bottom of things. The one thought that had been springing up since the first moment he'd stepped into her apartment was Megamind; he'd caught those two acting awfully _familiar_ with each other over the last few weeks - ever since she missed Thanksgiving at his place as a matter of fact! And now she was telling him she was going to miss Christmas too… _That little blue twerp had better not be behind this or my fist is going to be having a heart to heart talk with his FACE!_

"No, Roxanne." he responded curtly. "Something's up around here, and I'm _not_ leaving until I find out what it is."

* * *

Megamind could hear Wayne's footsteps as he approached the kitchen. That last comment the dense-skulled buffoon made didn't seem to bode well for him; there'd been a definite tone to his voice that sounded absolutely thick with the promise of a good solid pounding if he got caught. Not that Megamind couldn't hold his own in a fight of course; he was quite a bad-ass in his own right and could easy take down _anyone_ else who had the cojones to try and stand up to him, but a physical sparring match with the strongest man on the planet? Mano-a-mano, without so much as a tiny battle bot to aid him in combat? Eh, not so much.

The momentary feeling of panic he'd felt right before the unfortunate dried-goods avalanche suddenly leapt back into his chest. What was he going to do? He was about to be caught, pounded to a pulp, and hauled back to prison, and the plan he'd been working on and anticipating for so many weeks would be snatched away from him… nothing like having your hopes dashed away so decisively right at zero hour, when everything you'd dreamed of had been about to gloriously unfold for you.

With a sinking feeling, he realized there was only one option now to get himself, and _her_, out of this mess. He was going to have to use the power of the grand new invention he'd been so unwilling to show the gutsy reporter only a short while ago. He cringed. Using it in a way that would make her privy to the fact that it even existed was something he hoped he'd _never_ have to do; it had the uncomfortable possibility of putting him in a very compromising position someday down the road… but right now, he was out of options, and out of time.

Pushing the possible repercussions of using this brilliant new trick of his trade in front of his captive out of his mind, the anxious villain took a deep breath, and hurriedly reached for his watch…

* * *

"Wayne, really! There's nothing going on here; I'm not hiding anything, and there's a good explanation for all that noise in the kitchen. Just… stop being so nosy and get _out_ of here! Okay? I want to go to _sleep_ and I can't when you won't stop talking!"

Stopping in his tracks for a second and turning to look accusingly at the woman who had always been as trustworthy as the day was long, he snapped sternly, "Then what's your explanation for all that noise? And don't tell me it's a bunch of _cans_ tipping over, because I'm not buying it. Is it Megamind? Is there something weird going on here with him? Because you two have been…"

"_Ha_-hahaha, NO!" she laughed nervously. He was pretty much hitting the nail on the head now, and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep things up without cracking. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"Oh really. Well then, since everything is on the up and up I guess you won't mind a bit if I just mosey on in there and check things out, will you? Then I'll get right out of your hair and let you get on with all that _resting _you need to do, how about that?"

As Wayne began to turn determinedly on his heel to inspect the kitchen for hidden blue villains, another tumbling sound, followed by a heavy bump, emanated from the kitchen.

A muffled "Ow!" came from the general direction of the pantry, and as the surprised pair watched, the door slowly swung open. Roxanne cringed and immediately began running through a multitude of different apologies to give her friend when he saw his nemesis come sauntering out of the closet, just as he'd suspected, but instead of seeing the familiarly handsome rogue whom she knew should be reluctantly showing himself, she saw a complete stranger.

"_Hughhhhh…_" she gasped silently the instant the stranger stepped out in to the open, and clapped her hands to her mouth before Wayne would notice; a woman, elderly and plump in a very frumpy shin-length skirt and coke-bottle glasses that magnified crafty looking eyes.

"Stop where you are!" Wayne announced threateningly as he assumed a strikingly heroic pose, crouched impressively with fists balled up and at the ready to defend the world from wayward senior citizens.

Although Roxanne didn't have a clue what was going on or who this wizened looking woman was, or where Megamind was for that matter, she knew immediately there was more going on than she could see and she wasn't about to let her overly zealous friend step in until she knew exactly what was happening.

Reaching out to grab his arm, Roxanne pulled him to face her, and said, "Whoa, Wayne! Settle down, just hold on…" and then turned to glance back at the stranger.

The instant their eyes made contact, the portly woman put a finger to her lips and silently mouthed, _"Shhhhhhh!_ _It's me!"_ and then tipping her thick spectacles down to give Roxanne a better look, she stared at her shrewdly with remarkably familiar jade green eyes.

_Oh. my. god… how is that even possible… _her mind screamed as she watched the enigma that stood before her wave his arms around in a shooshing manner and mouthing the words, "Don't say anything, just play along!"

"Roxanne, who is this? I'm about to haul this intruder off, so if you have any idea what's going on, you'd better fill me in _right now!_"

"Right, Sorry. This has just been a weird day, and with this headache, you know… I can't think very clearly right now." she said, feeling as though she was in the middle of an incredibly disturbing dream. "Wayne, I'd like you to meet my… aunt… Aunt _Meg_. She came in late last night for Christmas. Aunt_ Meg_, this is my good friend, Wayne. Why don't you say hello so he can get going?"

Megamind… AKA, Aunt Meg, shuffled out from behind the kitchen counter and walked straight up to his confused and unsuspecting nemesis, and looking him up and down critically, he said in an aged and feeble voice, "Wayne, is it? So, why haven't you told me about this one before? Seems to me it would be pretty hard to forget to tell your auntie about an odd looking hulk like this…" Then turning to Roxanne and cupping a hand to his mouth as though passing on a secret, he added loudly enough for his opponent to hear, "Oh my, he's kind of _fat_, isn't he?"

Wayne looked incredibly uncertain about this turn of events, and wasn't entirely sure he liked Roxanne's apparently long lost aunt who had just shown up from out of nowhere. Why wouldn't Roxanne have mentioned him, and, fat? Did she really think he looked _fat?_ It was muscle… _MUSCLE!_ "Um, hello there, Aunt Meg. It's nice to meet you… and quite a surprise! Roxanne didn't tell me she was having any visitors in for the holidays."

"Oh, that's just how I roll, Hulky, always popping in unannounced to surprise my favorite niece! I enjoy coming up with a good plot like that… it's what I _do_. So tell me, what do you think you're doing here in Roxanne's apartment, making yourself at home like you own the place?" he asked, eyeing the brawny hero critically.

"Aunt Meg, that's _enough. _Why don't you leave him alone; he was just about to be heading out anyway, weren't you Wayne?" she stepped in with a warning glare at her supposed aunt, and then turned toward her gigantic friend with a grin to send him off.

"Why didn't you tell me your aunt was here?" he whispered under his breath when they made eye contact.

This time Roxanne thought fast, and whispered back, "Sorry, I probably should have, but she's just… weird! Very eccentric and _really_ overprotective. I don't usually like to introduce her to my friends and I was hoping you'd get the hint and get out of here before we had to deal with you meeting her."

"Oh, no, you can't leave just yet!" Megamind broke in. "Why don't you come sit down for a few minutes, I want to get to know you a little better. Go on now, sit down, sit down! Tell me about yourself!"

Roxanne's head instantly whipped around to face him, her eyes wide and her mouth agape in a horrified "what are you _DOING?_" expression, but the crafty scoundrel ignored her and waved a plump, wrinkled arm toward the couch. He'd been listening in on their hushed exchange and was beginning to warm to his roll; this was becoming a golden opportunity! He'd never been able to belittle his enemy as effectively as he was now under the guise of this harmless looking little old lady, and he was enjoying watching him squirm; he wasn't about to cast this chance aside without having a little fun first.

"Ah. Okay, sure." Wayne said as he followed Aunt Meg's lead and sat down uncomfortably. There _was_ something really weird about Roxanne's aunt, the way she looked at him as though he was being scrutinized under a microscope oddly made him feel as though she already knew him and had decided she couldn't stand him ages ago… maybe that was why something about her seemed so creepily familiar. He was beginning to see why his friend didn't want to draw attention to the fact that she was there. With a quick and longing glance at the door, he reluctantly asked, "So, what would you like to know?"

"_Everything._ I want to know it _all._ And don't bother to try and hide anything from me, this old woman can sniff out a lie like a bloodhound! Now first of all, tell me what you do for a living."

Clearing his throat nervously, the hero began, "Well, I'm in the rescue business…"

"Oh, so you must be one of those fellows who drive the ambulance! That has to be it, I can't imagine they'd let you get too close to the action; a great big _mammoth_ like you would be too clumsy to get in close to those sensitive scenes without stumbling all over everything and causing more trouble than they had to begin with."

Roxanne listened nervously as she settled on the arm of the couch between Megamind and Wayne, taking care to keep up appearances that she was still not feeling up to par; despite this little bump in the road she still had every intention of sending her supposed boyfriend off as soon as possible so she could get on with the fun that Megamind had in store for her. But when she heard her kidnapper's insult, she rolled her eyes and glowered at him warningly. He was sucking as much enjoyment out of this opportunity to insult his opponent as he could get, and loving every second of it! Although she wanted to tell him to shut it before he blew their cover, under the circumstances it would have been next to impossible for her to step in and shut him down without making Wayne suspicious, so the frustrated journalist reluctantly bit back her comments and waited, hoping Megamind wouldn't take things too far.

"Actually, I'm the one who rescues your niece from all those dangerous kidnappings she has to go through every week!" he said proudly, certain her aunt would be impressed when she realized who he really was.

Megamind just stared at him silently for a moment, an expression of disapproval lining his well-disguised face rather than the admiration Wayne had been hoping for. "Oh, so _you're_ the one who's always picking on that poor man!"

"Um, _what?_" Wayne looked confused.

"Yes, I recognize you now; you're the one who's always picking on that blue fellow! That _poor_ man, I think it's just terrible the way you're always hauling him back to that awful prison and breaking his inventions; did you ever stop to think how long it must take him to make such wonderful machines?"

"Wonderful machines? You _do_ know he uses those _wonderful machines_ to take down buildings, and rob and steal, and cause more damage than any other villain Metro City has ever seen, don't you? Not to mention he puts your niece in life threatening situations a couple of times a week."

The pudgy face of Roxanne's pretend aunt whipped up to look at her with an irate scowl, and in a low, monotone voice that was thick with disapproval, the trickster said, "I don't _like_ this one, Roxanne! Did you hear the way he just _spoke_ to me?"

"He has a good point, Aunt Meg. Why don't you hear him out?" quipped the journalist as she tried to conceal an amused smile. As much as she didn't want to admit it, this was actually becoming entertaining!

"I don't want to hear anything this buffoon has to say if he's going to talk nonsense of that sort… _everyone_ knows that man is just having a little fun, where's the harm in that? But I can _certainly_ tell you there's _plenty_ of harm in the way thisone bullies him all the time!" he barked back in his feeble, elderly voice, jabbing an arthritic-looking finger accusingly at the bewildered hero. Then turning his green eyes back to rest witheringly on him, he continued, "Now, you tell me, young man; have you ever stopped to think about all the hours and work he must put into those brilliant machines you're always tearing apart?"

When the villain stopped his rant to stare at him in icy silence, Wayne took that as his cue to respond. "Well, think about it, it's not as though I can just sit there and watch him take the city down with those machines, of course I've got to do something, and that means they're going to get destroyed in the process. But yes, I suppose you're right, some of them are pretty clever, and it must take him quite a while to work on some of his inventions… although there are times I'd swear he doesn't bother to come up with some of that cheesy stuff until a few minutes before I show up to nab him…"

"Now that was just _rude!" _snapped the camouflaged scoundrel as he picked up a pillow and whapped him solidly on the side of the head, trying the entire time to stop himself from snickering. "I'd like to see you come up with something _half_ that ingenious and awe-inspiring! Not a chance; that fat head of yours would have a hard enough time remembering how to pull up your tights or tie your own shoes, let alone dreaming up splendid inventions the way he does. Shame, s_hame_ on you for picking on him the way you do!"

Wayne looked at Roxanne pleadingly. With his hands in the air and a confused shrug, he asked, "_What?_"

"You're _fine_, don't worry about her. My aunt is nothing but an old grouch!" Roxanne responded soothingly with a friendly pat on his arm.

"Oh, no I'm not. I have a sense about these things, dear. This one's a _rude_ young man, and he's definitely not the sharpest spike on the bot!"

"Aunt Meg! _Now_ look who's being rude. I'm surprised at you! Just leave him alone and let's talk about something else, okay? Unless, you're ready to go Wayne… are you?" added the brunette hopefully. A little encouraging hint seemed to fit in quite well at that particular break in the conversation, and she could tell Wayne had had just about enough. She didn't think she'd ever seen him looking that uncomfortable.

Megamind had been carefully watching Roxanne's reaction to his incessant pestering. That little pat she'd given his brutish foe's arm when he'd insulted his intelligence had absolutely rubbed him the wrong way; he knew they were dating of course, but he certainly didn't want to see the two of them looking so cozy together. Although he wouldn't admit it out loud, the evidence of their relationship being displayed right in front of him was enough to make his cold heart burn with jealousy. Something had to be done.

Before the shaken hero had a chance to answer, his cleverly disguised nemesis broke in and breathed in a horrified tone, "Dear, I don't like the way you're acting so familiar with this big ape. Don't tell me you're _dating_ him…"

Roxanne recoiled a bit at the pointed question. What did Megamind think he was doing? He was taking this masquerade of his _way_ too far, not only behaving like a complete ass to her poor friend, which she supposed was to be expected considering who these two were and their long and colorful history of butting heads, but he was also putting her afternoon with him at the Lair - or wherever he planned to take her - at risk.

Rather than telling the obnoxious villain to shut up, something she was longing to do at the moment, she began to dig for a way to answer him without giving out too much information, and neatly ending this line of the conversation at the same time. Of course she wasn't dating Wayne! That was _never_ going to happen. But Megamind wasn't supposed to know that.

"Well, um…"

"Oh no. You are… don't tell me you are! Roxanne, why in the world would you want to date… _him? _Look at him; he's like a giant, fat slab of beef! And he has about as much brains as one, too. Dear, you can do _so _much better than that… now, how about that blue fellow that this one is always picking on? _He's_ a handsome one, and so smart! You like smart men, and you two seem to have so much fun on those exciting adventures you're always having together. Oh! You should try dating _him!_"

"Ooooookaay, that's enough… _Aunt MEG!_" Roxanne snapped warningly through clenched teeth as she glanced at Wayne. The poor guy looked completely dejected. She'd known for years that despite the fact that he knew they were nothing more than friends, her brawny rescuer had always carried a bit of a torch for her deep down; it must have been quite a blow for him to hear her "aunt" not only disapproving of him so forcefully, but telling her to date the villain.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Wayne finally piped up in a deflated tone, "You know Roxy, I think I'm just going to head out so you can get some rest."

"Oh, okay. Well, thank you for coming bye, Wayne, and tell your mom I'm sorry I couldn't make it today." she answered as they turned to walk toward the door, a mixture of guilt for tricking him and the rest of the messy affair, and relief that he was finally leaving tugging confusingly at the back of her mind.

"I will. Merry Christmas, Roxy. And you too Aunt Meg; it was… _interesting_ to meet you." When they had moved far enough out of earshot for him to talk to her privately without her strange guest listening in, the injured hero leaned in close and whispered, "Roxanne, your aunt is crazy! What's _wrong_ with her?"

"Oh, uh… yeah." she acquiesced. She was disappointed to discover this lying thing was becoming easier for her as the morning wore on. "I told you she was weird! There's one in every family I guess. She's always been like that, just marching to the beat of her own drum; but now that she's, you know, getting _up there_ in years… well, I think she's kind of losing it. Don't take anything she says to heart."

"_Kind of_ losing it? I'd have to say whatever she used to have was gone a _loooong_ time ago. I mean, she tried telling you to date Megamind! She's a complete fruitcake!"

"Hehe… yeah…" Roxanne wasn't about to tell her gigantic friend that when "Aunt Meg" brought up that little gem in their absurd conversation, she'd felt something flutter pleasantly in her chest; it didn't sound like such a bad idea if it was possible to work something like that out. In fact, over the past few weeks, she'd thought of that very thing a time or two herself…

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**I'll have the next chapter ready to go on Thursday morning, please be sure to check back!**

**I hope you're enjoying it so far. I'd love to hear from you; reviews are welcome and so very appreciated! Thank you! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

As Roxanne and Wayne said their goodbyes, speaking in hushed tones by the door, Megamind sat on the couch triumphantly and watched his enemy retreat. Ah, victory! Nothing could be sweeter than watching your lifelong foe cower and run for the hills for the first time; the strongest and most swaggeringly conceited man on Earth, foiled embarrassingly by a little old lady.

The frumpily disguised villain chuckled silently as he watched his lovely victim open the door to usher his nemesis away. Finally, after all these years of close calls and near wins, he'd been able to pull off a stunning triumph over his enemy… too bad it was all so hush-hush, it would have been glorious to pull off a win like this in the spotlight so the whole city could see. How _humiliating_ for the great big, pantyhose-wearing pansy. And this time, the bad guy even got the girl in the end! Of course, it was only for the day, but the determined alien insisted to himself that it still counted.

_Oh, that was just too easy!_ The scoundrel gloated to himself._ What a sap, I should have thought of something like this YEARS ago!_

As the offended do-gooder stepped out into the hallway and Roxanne began to close the door after him, Megamind couldn't help but snicker wickedly under his breath, "Oh yes, Merry Christmas to you too, Goody Two Shoes. Looks like the better man won this round today!"

Suddenly, from out in the hallway through the half open door, the undercover trickster heard the words, "_What _was that?"followed by the sound of a meaty hand stopping the wooden door.

_Oh oh_… he thought as his head whipped around and his heart nearly stopped at the sight of his opponent standing just inside the door again, glaring at him suspiciously.

"Wait a minute, what are you talking about?" Roxanne asked anxiously as she shot a questioning glance back at her disguised visitor, and then tried to position herself between him and her gigantic, suddenly angry friend. She had no idea what was going on; she hadn't heard Megamind's arrogant comment and thought that the whole mess was finally over. The thought of going through another round of trying to keep from blowing their cover was enough to turn her imaginary headache into a doozy of a real one.

Ignoring her question, Wayne sidled past her and asked again, "Well? What did you say, _Aunt Meg?_ Go ahead and say it again so I can hear you more clearly."

Megamind was stunned. How could he possibly have heard that at _all_? He'd practically been down the hall when he said it, and he'd whispered it so quietly…

Jumping to his feet and thinking fast, the hidden alien snapped scoldingly, "I don't like your tone, young man! Roxanne, do you see the way he's speaking to me? You should be ashamed of yourself; talking to an old lady like that!"

"Wayne, what are you doing?" she asked frantically as she stepped in front of him again with her arms held out to her sides, as though she was creating a barrier between him and her disguised kidnapper.

The irate hero turned to her and retorted, "You know exactly what I'm doing. You're part of this, aren't you? Aunt _Meg_… give me a break!" Then turning to the increasingly nervous villain, he jabbed a thick index finger in the air and said, "I heard what you called me; super hearing, remember? Who else would call me that but you, _Megamind!_ You know, I _knew_ something about you seemed familiar - and all the insults you thought you could squeeze in without me realizing who I was really talking to; signature Megamind repartee right there. You enjoy coming up with a good _plot? _Not the sharpest _spike_ on the _bot?_ I can't believe I didn't figure it out a long time ago! I don't know how you did this, but somehow you pulled the wool over my eyes with one of your gadgets. Well, looks like it's time for me return the favor and put my fist in your face, you lying little turd!"

With that, Roxanne's raging protector stepped right past her, his eyes boring into the old woman who stood her ground before him, and pounded a fist into the palm of his hand with a sound like a hefty roast hitting the pavement.

Megamind's mind began to race as he searched for a way out of this mess in one piece. Wayne was really pissed; so pissed, he wasn't even bothering to banter with the expert finesse that the picky criminal had come to expect. He was talking like a hooligan ready for a street brawl, rough and unpolished, and that didn't bode well for the worried villain. Not at all.

Taking a few steps back, he slowly and inconspicuously hovered his hand over the communique button on his watch in preparation for the only way out he could come up with in such a tight spot; sending in his spiky, robotic troops to create a diversion so he could bolt away in the confusion. The brainbots were always at the ready, and a particularly large assembly was always gathered and waiting right across the street from Roxanne's apartment - as much for her protection as for keeping close tabs on his victim to maintain his advantage– and they could be there in seconds flat if needed. Of course, that would mean giving up on his long awaited hope of giving Roxanne the gift he'd prepared for her, but at the moment, there didn't seem to be any other choice.

With a last ditch effort to stop the enraged gorilla of a man as he bore down on him, Megamind attempted to wring out any semblance of uncertainty Wayne may have left about the fact that Aunt Meg wasn't who she seemed to be. Using his best little old lady impression, the crafty villain scolded, "You listen here; you can't go around treating old women so crassly! I'm terribly disappointed in you, young man. You're supposed to be a hero, and look at you; you're nothing but a show off, a spoiled brat! Just a young _punk_, disrespecting a senior citizen so _shamefully!_ Now, you'd better just stop right where you are, or I'm going to make sure all the newspapers have a heyday reporting on the fact that their big hero likes to pick on little old ladies just as much as he likes to bully that _poor_ blue man!"

"Nice try _twerp_, it's not going to work. You know, you might want to think about taking off your costume before I pummel you and drag you out of here; that might end up to be a bit embarrassing for you when I bring you back to the prison dressed like _that_." Wayne growled back, his eyes deadlocked on his target; the plump, wrinkled old woman who stared at him nervously through coke-bottle glasses on the other side of the room.

Just as the realization sank in that his hope of talking his way out of his predicament was lost, and Megamind was reaching out his finger to depress the call button on his watch and send for help, from out of nowhere, Roxanne stepped in front of Wayne and plopped her hands on his chest with a slap, shoving hard against him as though she was stomping on the brakes in an out of control commuter bus.

"_WAYNE!_ Stop! Just hold on; you need to listen to me _right now._ For whatever reason you've apparently decided to convince yourself this is Megamind in disguise… but what if you're wrong? What if you just plow on ahead and grab her and haul her off, and then when it's too late and the damage is already done, you find out this _really is my aunt?" _She stopped and looked at him hard, allowing her words to sink in for a moment, and then continued, "I mean, think about it; what you're saying is crazy! Look at her, does that look like a costume to you? I don't see a mask or face-paint; just the size of her head alone is enough to tell you your idea is insane! Take a good look - she looks like a real, flesh and blood person to me!"

"But this is _Megamind_ we're talking about! If he was going to disguise himself, he wouldn't do it like anyone else, he'd use some sort of contraption or trick…"

"Of course he would! But seriously, don't you think something like _that_ would be a stretch," and with that she waved an arm behind her in the general direction of the figure who watched with interest from the other side of the room, "Even for him?"

As Wayne listened to her reason things out for him, he appeared to be decompressing a bit. Rather than looking like a coiled spring ready to fly, he seemed to be regaining a bit of his composure and was now standing relatively coolly; Roxanne was even able to remove both of her hands from his chest rather than having to hold him in place to keep him from pouncing on his target. It was obvious he still wasn't completely convinced, however. The angry hero continued to stare at the plump figure, his wheels turning as he tried to reconcile what she told him with what he had been completely convinced of only a moment ago.

"What about what he said? I heard that; there's not a person alive except _Megamind_ who has the balls to call me that!"

Roxanne gave a tired sigh, and with a roll of her eyes she asked, "What did _she_ say, Wayne? Maybe I can help clear things up for you…"

The offended defender was beginning to look a little unsure of himself in light of Roxanne's levelheaded reasoning. Maybe he jumped the gun when he accused the pudgy woman of being his lifelong nemesis in disguise after all? He stood quietly a moment, his eyes switching back and forth between the pretty reporter and her very unhappy looking guest, and then finally mumbled uncomfortably, "It was Goody Two Shoes. He… or she, I don't know… _whoever_ it is… called me Goody Two Shoes."

"Really." the reporter responded flatly, one eyebrow rising to emphasize the absurdity of the situation. "Goody Two Shoes. So, um, what else did she say; anything?"

"Well, that's the only thing I heard clearly…" Wayne looked down at the floor, obviously feeling abashed. When he said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous.

"Uh-hu. Well, let me tell you, Wayne; my aunt doesn't _need_ balls to call you, or anybody else Goody Two Shoes, or any number of other names that would make a sailor blush. She's a mouthy old broad, and you should be thanking your lucky stars that's _all_ she called you! And let me tell you something else" she added, poking him with an index finger hard in the chest, "you really stepped in it today, waltzing in here and refusing to leave, breaking your promise to me not use your powers to snoop…"

"But that was an accident!" he protested.

"_Stop!_ I don't want to hear it! And you accused my poor aunt of being someone else, and treated her horribly… and you even accused me of being in on it! You know, something else you should know about my Aunt Meg is she has a memory like a steel trap… _nothing_ escapes that grey-matter of hers; she's going to remember this for a _long time_. And so am _I_."

Wayne looked hard at his pretty friend; oh _god_. He really _did_ step in it… that expression, one he'd seen her give Megamind hundreds of times but never once imagined she'd give to him, was enough to form a thick sheet of ice that ran clear down his spine. Then, with trepidation, he lifted his eyes from hers to glance at Aunt Meg… oh no, he was in _serious_ trouble. The old woman's glare was even more terrifying, making Roxanne's arctic stare feel like a warm spring breeze.

He felt like an idiot… how could he have been so _wrong_ about this? This had been, without a doubt, one of the stupidest mistakes he'd ever made in the history of his carrier, and his thick-headedness had not only pissed off the one girl in the city he wanted to impress most, but it appeared that now he'd made an enemy out of a valued member of her family; someone who happened to be one of the _scariest_ old ladies he'd ever had the misfortune to come across. He'd never be able to live this one down.

_Time to try for a little damage control_, thought the enormous and terrified hero as he watched the two women stare him down icily. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Wayne began to stammer out, "Roxy, Aunt Meg, listen. I'm _so_…"

"Shut up, Wayne! I really don't want to hear it right now!" the reporter instantly snapped, cutting him off as she held up a hand in a gesture of silence.

"But listen, I _need_ to tell you, I'm really sorry!" he burst out, holding out his hands out sheepishly as he sought in vain for the right words to convey his remorse and humiliation. "I don't know what's _wrong_ with me; that was… it was just… I don't know, kind of crazy, and…"

"Uh, _yeah_. It was. Wayne, I think it's time for you to go home. In case you forgot, I'm _sick _today and I'm supposed to be resting, not dealing with rude people barging in here, spouting off delusions and accusing my poor aunt of being someone she's _not_."

It sounded absolutely _insane_ when she explained it like that. _Oh god, now __**I'm**__ getting a headache…_

With a final glance at the angry old woman who glared piercingly at him by the patio door, he answered, "Yeah. I think you're right. You know, I'm not feeling all that great myself now that you mention it…"

"Well I'm sorry to hear that." Roxanne answered shortly as she took a beefy elbow and decisively turned him toward the door to send him off.

"Maybe that's why I got things so turned around here today; I could be coming down with something after all… all of a sudden I have the most terrible headache!" he continued as he rubbed his left temple.

"Mm-hmm, that could be it. You probably just need to go home and get some rest too. We'll talk about this whole mess again later… but let _me_ be the one to bring it up! I'm going to need some time to work through it all; I'm still pretty pissed about this!"

Wayne cringed as she led him firmly through the door into the hallway. "I know. I'm sorry; I really am, to both of you! I still don't know what came over me…"

"Okay… I know… we'll talk about it later. Merry Christmas, Wayne; I hope you feel better, and don't forget to tell your mom I said hello." she answered curtly as she began to shut the door, the poor, addled hero still watching her sheepishly from the hallway.

"Merry Christmas, Rox. Merry Christmas, Aunt Meg!" And then the door closed tight with a click.

* * *

Megamind had been watching the proceedings speechlessly from the background as Roxanne stepped in and single-handedly diffused a potentially explosive situation with nothing more than a frigid glare and a good hard shove in the right direction. Although he'd been tempted to continue talking his way out of the situation when things were winding down, he could see she had it well in hand and had wisely opted to keep quiet. In fact, she'd handled it like no one else could; manipulating the situation like an expert and making his foe second guess himself… what a touch of genius!

But it was also a bit of a risk; she'd put her relationship with the big brute on the line to step in for him the way she did, and he couldn't help but wonder why she'd been willing to do it. The fact that Roxanne Ritchi would even consider taking a chance like that for him, her _kidnapper_, the lifelong enemy of her brainless significant other, touched him deeply. That was something he wouldn't forget.

He smiled to himself as he watched her lead her gigantic rescuer to the door. It seemed almost unbelievable that this sharp little beauty had enough moxie and backbone to so easily wrap the two most powerful men on the planet around her delicate fingers; to pull and control them both in her own way, as neatly as a puppet on a string with a single look and a well-placed word. Without a doubt, he knew deep down that whether he admitted it openly or not, she held as much sway over him as she did her love-struck boyfriend; if she ever chose to use it to use it that way, the power she had over him would instantly be his downfall… his days as Metro City's greatest villain would be finished.

Suddenly roused from his musing as he heard the brawny and befuddled hero wishing Aunt Meg a Merry Christmas from the hallway, he quickly moved his hand to turn the dial of his watch and deactivate the disguise generator before the reporter could turn and see him working his slick new invention. She'd already seen it in action of course, but she didn't know exactly what it was or how it worked, and the more mystery he could maintain about the ingenious gadget, the better.

When the door had closed fast, Roxanne stood with her back to him for another moment, obviously mulling over everything that happened in the course of their forty-five minute visit. After several seconds of silence, the brunette took a deep breath and turned to find her visitor looking just as he did before Wayne showed up – blue, bald, big head, and all.

"Okay. WHAT… was _that?_" she asked, breaking the silence with a whisper, just in case Wayne was still outside, and throwing her arms in the air.

Megamind blinked. "What?"

"Don't give me that, you _know_ what I'm talking about. You! Dressed up in the granny-suit! What the heck was that?"

"Oh, just something I've been working on. A little gadget I came up with; it's still in prototype stage – but I _do_ feel that I need to remind you that everything you saw here today is completely off the…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Off the record, you don't need to tell me… but what _is_ it? How does it work?" she asked again, walking up to him and inspecting him closely as though she still expected to see some semblance of his disguise clinging to him somewhere; behind an ear or hidden under his sleek goatee. The curious journalist even reached out to prod at his smooth blue cheek as she visualized those fleshy, wrinkled jowls and tried to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

Megamind reached up and grasped her hand in mid-poke to draw it away from his face, and answered with a cheeky smile, "That is for me to know, and you _never_ to find out, my dear. You don't really think I'm going to tell you how it works, do you?"

Roxanne rolled her eyes and chuckled. "No, I guess not. Look, whatever it is, just promise you won't ever use it on me, okay?"

The villain snorted scoffingly. "Pffft! I'm the _bad_ guy! How in the world am I supposed to promise something like that?"

"No, seriously!" she went on as he continued to hold her hand, her blue eyes looking at him intensely. "Look, I'm trying to trust you, Megamind. I have been ever since Thanksgiving; trying _really hard_ because things just seem… I don't know, _different_ now. But if you were to pull something like that on me - all I can say is, I think that would be one of the worst things you could do. I _hate_ lying. Honestly, it would be really hard for me to ever trust you again after tricking me like that."

He looked at her, studying the seriousness in her eyes. She meant it.

"Alright then. I won't use it on you, I promise." he answered after a moment's hesitation, but as he said it, he cringed inwardly. He was in the dark and underhanded business of being evil. As a rule, villains never make promises like that to their victims; but when he looked into her eyes just then, he couldn't stop himself… he just hoped this was a promise he'd actually be able to keep.

When his pact was made, the brunette's earnest expression instantly broke into a fabulous smile. Squeezing his hand, she said in a lighthearted tone, "Good! Thank you, Megamind."

"Yes, well, don't mention it. So! You hate lying, huh?" he prodded with a teasing smile in an attempt to quickly change the subject. "For someone who says she hates lying, you did it like a pro! I thought you said you were terrible at it."

"Well, don't get used to that, I don't _ever_ want to do anything like this again. I really hate it! And I _am_ terrible at it - _usually_. Did you hear the way I butchered it when he first got here?"

Megamind snorted. "Yeah, that was pretty bad."

"I know! But Wayne was being _so_ pushy; I hate that almost as much as I hate lying, and he was barging into my house and wouldn't leave! And then he went after you like that, and…" she shook her head and swiped a hand sheepishly over her forehead and into her hair, "Ugh, I guess he just pissed me off. So I let him have it."

"I'd say so! Stepping in front of him when he was in the middle of a hissy fit like that was like stepping in front of a charging elephant; I'm impressed!"

"Yeah, well, you stepped in when the brainbots went after me, remember? I was just returning the favor." With that, she quickly glanced up at him and gave him a crooked, dimpled smile, and the heartless villain felt something in his chest flutter mysteriously, a feeling that was becoming more and more familiar to him lately as he was beginning to catch her giving him that same expression on a regular basis.

"Anywaaay, are we going to get this show on the road or what? We're already half way through Christmas Day, and I _do_ believe you have a present and a plan waiting for me, right?"

"Yes, right! One present coming right up," he answered, a wide and excited grin instantly appearing on his face, "and a plan to follow soon after… you know, _if_ we get around to it. Now, you do realize I can't allow you to see where we're going…"

"Oh, sure. I know. Do whatever you gotta do, I don't mind." she responded, noting again with interest that he tacked the words _if we get around to it_ to the end of his thought. But despite her mounting anticipation, she did note a bit of a sinking feeling when she thought of having to endure a blast in the face with the knock-out spray that always left her head pounding when she woke up, or of traveling across town in the back of his Hudson, breathing in the smell of that disgusting bag.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her kidnapper whipped out the very bag in question and gave it a shake, producing a sharp snap, and then held it out proudly for her inspection.

"There you go, freshly cleaned and neatly pressed; part of your gift, Miss Ritchi! Now, as soon as the coast is clear we'll take the back stairs, and you don't have to put it on until we get into the car." he said, his eyes twinkling and one corner of his mouth lifting with a silent chuckle when he saw her eyes light up with surprise.

As he waited for her to get ready for their departure, watching her switch her fuzzy slippers for the sleek looking heels she'd been wearing when he first arrived and excitedly shrug out of her robe to expose the smooth, satiny dress underneath, Megamind couldn't help but ask curiously, "So, what are you going to say if Metro Twat calls up to check on you and discovers you're not at home?"

"Well," Roxanne answered with a mischievous smile as she grabbed her jacket and reached for the door, "I'll just tell him the truth… more or less. I'll say I was feeling rested and wonderful by the time the afternoon rolled around, so I went out for a surprise Christmas outing with my favorite Aunt Meg. Believe me, after that whole mess we just went through, he's never going to question _anything_ I tell him about that mouthy old broad again!"

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**Next chapter should be updated on Tuesday, I hope you'll come back. :) **

**Reviews please? It's been pretty quiet out there with the last two chapters and I could really use a little encouragement. Thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so glad you came back, thank you! Now that they've finally gotten rid of Wayne, you'll notice the pace of the story changing a little as we draw closer to the end... only 1 more update to go. **

**I hope you have fun with this chapter! :)**

* * *

Her ride across town, seated comfortably in the passenger seat of the Hudson rather than tossed in the back like a sack of flour, was quiet. Megamind had warned her before he covered her head with the freshly laundered bag that there wouldn't be any talking along the way, she was simply "too nosy for her own good", and if he allowed her to strike up a conversation of any sort with him as they made their way to their destination, he was _certain_ she'd attempt to use her wiles to wring information out of him so she could find her way back again at her leisure to snoop around.

Of course, she knew he was right, and despite several attempts to worm some dialogue out of him, he stubbornly stuck to his guns, answering her innocent sounding questions with a simple and increasingly frustrated, "Shhhhhhhh. I _told_ you, not a peep!" Finally, after trying and failing several times to draw him in, the reporter gave up her quest and settled in for the ride, quietly giggling at him off and on for the rest of the trip as she sat in the privacy of the bag.

When they finally arrived at their mysterious destination, Megamind stepped out and walked around the car, opening the door to help her out, and then placing one hand behind her back and wrapping the other around the crook of her elbow, he led her along what seemed to be a long, winding hallway of some sort. She listened carefully as they trudged along, trying to determine where they were; the sound of their footsteps on the concrete floor echoed as they passed from one area to another, sounding distant and empty as they went through a wider space, perhaps a work room or a storage facility, and then closing in again, sounding sharper and louder as they entered yet another narrow passage.

"Can't I take the bag off yet? We're obviously here now… I feel ridiculous!"

"Not unless you want the knock-out spray instead. You're not in a place I can allow you to see yet; if you did, we'd have to do a memory wipe to make sure you wouldn't remember anything, and I don't think that would be a very enjoyable way for you to spend your holiday!" he answered, attempting to sound serious and threatening, although underneath that tough exterior ran an obvious undercurrent of amusement. In fact, Roxanne thought she heard him snicker to himself when he finished his warning. "Don't worry! I'll let you know as soon as it's time for you to take it off; I won't make you wait an extra second."

Finally, after walking in apparent circles for what seemed like ages, quite possibly to throw her off the trail in case she'd been trying to get her bearings and was entertaining any grand ideas of attempting to poke her way around on her own, he stopped her and said, "Alright, we're here, but before I let you take this thing off I need to tell you how this is going to work. I'm going to lead you inside and you'll sit down, and when I say it's okay, you can take the bag off… but not before I say it's okay, though! No peeking! Got it?"

Roxanne giggled. He had that giddy sound to his voice again; like an excited little boy on Christmas morning, anxiously surveying the pile of gifts he'd been waiting for weeks to open. "Yes, yes. I've got it! Come on, let's hurry this thing up, the anticipation is _killing_ me!"

"Alright then, let's go!" And with that, he led her forward to receive the perfect gift he'd been planning to give her ever since Thanksgiving Day.

* * *

The instant they began to move again, she could tell that they'd entered a room of some sort, large and open, but this one seemed to have a different feel to it than the other open spaces they'd passed through on their way; less industrious, warmer, and more like home. What first tipped her off to the change of atmosphere was the absence of lonely sounding echoes and the feeling of the floor beneath her feet. No longer was there the harshness of concrete, or the clicking of her heels that reverberated against the bare walls; the flooring in this room felt luxuriously thick and deep. Just like the last time she'd spent a holiday with her kidnapper, she was overcome by a sudden urge to kick off her shoes and dig her toes into the softness.

_Oh my gosh, I think I know where I am!_ She thought to herself enthusiastically, a wide smile spreading across her face as she was led along by her host, still hidden beneath the bag. Her hopes had risen sky high by now, and she wondered if what was happening was really what she'd been wishing for all throughout the Christmas season. Of course, at this point, even if she _did_ have to sit through one of his silly plans when all was said and done, she couldn't complain much. Once again, Megamind hadn't failed to impress. So far, even though she hadn't yet received the gift that he'd prepared for her, this was turning out to be another unforgettable holiday spent with the famously wicked villain who was showing himself to be less and less wicked all the time.

"Miss Ritchi! There you are, we've been waiting all morning for you to get here!" a friendly voice suddenly piped up from somewhere close by as her captor led her to a chair… a very large, soft, velvety chair… and helped her sit down.

"Hey! _Stifle_ that! You're not supposed to say anything yet, you dimwitted guppy! You're giving away part of the surprise!" Megamind shot back in frustration as she made herself comfortable.

"Oh, right. Sorry, Sir."

Roxanne giggled. "Settle down, Spacey. I figured he'd be here, and even if I didn't I would have found out he was in a minute anyway. Hey Minion, Merry Christmas! So, who's this _we_ you're talking about?"

"Hehe, Merry Christmas to you too! Now, you know I can't tell you anything, Sir would blow a fuse if I gave you any hints. No worries, you'll find out soon enough!"

"Okay, but can you guys _please_ hurry up with whatever it is you're doing? I appreciate that you washed up the bag for me and all, but I don't think I can stand to have it on like this much longer. I can't breathe!"

"Yes, I know; just another minute…" Megamind responded distractedly, and then from under the seclusion of her covering she could hear him murmuring hurriedly in low tones, apparently giving out last minute instructions to make certain everything was set to his standards; nothing less than absolute perfection for his highly honored guest.

After several moments of trying to wait as patiently as she could, a task that was proving to be _incredibly_ difficult as she listened to the hubbub that filled the mysterious space around her, she finally heard the words she'd been anticipating all morning drifting toward her from across the room. "Minion, I think it's ready! Alright, go ahead and let her up…"

"You got it, Boss! Miss Ritchi, are you ready to see your gift?" the scaly sidekick asked cheerfully, his voice coming from somewhere directly behind her.

"As I'll ever be!" she answered with a chuckle as she thought back to the last social call she spent with these two in the Lair and the thoughtful fish had asked her the very same question, her safety and comfort as he hefted her along through the passageways of the Lair at the forefront of his mind.

When she gave her affirmative, she felt a metallic hand wrap lightly around her arm to help her, and she pulled herself up, wavering unsteadily for a moment as she tried to gain her footing under the stuffy darkness of her covering. Minion kept his hold on her carefully the whole time, making sure she was firmly rooted to the floor.

"No hurry Miss Ritchi; you just let me know as soon as you're feeling steady enough to stand on your own, and then I'll help you with the bag, okay?"

"Okay… yep, I'm good Minion, you can go ahead now."

"Alright then, here we go! One… two… _three_…"

With that, the darkness that the eager reporter had been enveloped in was gently lifted, giving way to a sight that was so amazing, it took her breath away. She was exactly where she expected she'd be, in the same luxurious dining room she sat in with the pair of miscreants only four short weeks ago. The last time she saw it the place was quite different than it appeared now; walls, ceiling and floor covered with greasy smears of food, brainbots going haywire and tossing everything they could get their pincers on willy-nilly around the room, and service-bots running for their lives to escape the pestering of their playful and more intelligent counterparts.

Then of course, there was Number 121, that strange little bot that seemed to have taken such a liking to her, the turkey leg balanced precariously atop the extravagant chandelier, the posh table service knocked completely askew and draped haphazardly across the floor, and Megamind and Roxanne, both looking as filthy as the food covered walls, laughing like grade-schoolers as they hid behind their ends of the table and waited for the perfect opportunity to pummel each other with another handful of the feast that poor Minion had so carefully prepared for them.

But today, the only words that could possibly describe the previously ransacked dining room were beautiful, elegant, _magical_.

No matter where she looked, the dining room absolutely radiated Christmas. Walls and draperies, anything that would give a foothold to strings of sparkling lights, was bedecked with holiday cheer that twinkled in the cozy dimness; even the arched ceiling was given special treatment with the draping clusters that illuminated the carved molding and brightened darkened corners with pools of dappled light. Lengths of garland trimmed the door and framed in the paintings that still looked suspiciously like the ones that had gone missing from the art museum to the astute brunette, and the extravagant dining table was perfectly set and decorated in anticipation of what the reporter realized was to be another one of Minion's monumental feasts… her stomach rumbled as she began to notice the incredible aroma of turkey and all the trimmings breezing in from the kitchen.

Roxanne was speechless. Because Christmas had always been her favorite season, she had visited more light displays over the years than she could count, seeking them out and soaking them up as an important part of her celebration. Each one had been beautiful in its own way and had filled her with the joy that always went along with the season, but nothing had ever been as stunning as the room she stood in now; a gem that was tucked back from the world, hidden away in the least likely of all places.

Once he had given the go ahead, Megamind moved to the background and waited, watching silently in nervous anticipation of seeing the expression on her face when she was finally able to see the gift he'd worked all month to set up for her. _God, I hope I did this right…_

Of course, he didn't know the first thing about decorating in general, and particularly not for dopey, sentimental holidays that he didn't give a hoot about, so when he first began to formulate the plan for her surprise his efforts had to be supplemented with plenty of spying on the general populace to find out how normal people celebrated his victim's favorite day. As he muddled through the initial planning and set-up early on in the month, he felt completely inadequate to the task… how on Earth was a serious villain supposed to work with lights and tinsel, glitter, and all the other silly trappings that went along with such an absurd holiday? But despite his reservations, he pushed on, shored up by the knowledge that this sort of thing was important to her, and if he could manage to pull it off, his mission to give her the best Christmas she'd ever had might just be accomplished; not to mention with a good deal of input from his robotic sidekick, who only did a nominal job of trying to hide his excitement for their first real Christmas in the Lair.

When all was finally said and done the night before and he stood back for a final inspection of their handiwork, a nervous ache clenched his stomach. Was it supposed to look this… _sparkly?_ He didn't have a clue. The only thing he did know was that he hoped he'd managed somehow to capture the essence of a holiday he knew next to nothing about, and that Roxanne's face would light up radiantly when she saw what he'd done for her.

Now, as he watched her look around and catch her first glimpse of the embarrassingly _un_-evil wonderland he'd created for her deep in the dark heart of Evil Lair and saw a brilliant smile light up her face, all the nerves and tension of anticipating that one moment drained away. It had been worth it, all of it… all of the work, and immersion in more twinkling Christmas cuteness than any villain should ever have to suffer through in a lifetime; even his unexpected and nearly disastrous run-in with Wayne that morning, had all been worth it to see that smile.

When she'd had a chance to take in every visible inch of the decked-out dining room, Megamind leaned to his left, and waving a hand encouragingly he whispered to a group of oddly shaped bots that sat patiently hidden on the sidelines, waiting for their cue, "Okay, now! Go, go, go!"

Roxanne turned curiously toward the three familiar, bulky bots that she'd teased him about on Thanksgiving Day as they made their appearance and began to play the musical instruments they had been programmed to specialize in. As the strains of violin, harp and cello rippled through the room and blended to create the carols she'd listened to since her childhood, she suddenly felt a tight knot forming in her throat and an unwelcome wet pricking in her eyes. She'd never receive a gift this wonderfully thoughtful from anyone again; this was _one in a million_, and the fact that it came from these two made it even more meaningful… she knew she'd never forget it.

"Well, what do you think Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked curiously as he trudged up beside her.

The brunette immediately blinked hard and cleared her throat to untie that stubborn knot, and then turning to Minion, she said, "I don't even know what to say… it's amazing! I've never seen anything like it!"

"_Really?" _the fish squeaked excitedly.

"Well, yeah! It's incredible; look at all those lights! This must have taken you ages to put together."

"It did take a long time, but to be honest, Sir did most of the work…"

Megamind seemed slightly ruffled at his sidekick's generous distribution of personal information. Surging forward to stride across the room in double-time, he defensively piped up, "_That's_ only because of those useless brainbots. Give them a simple task to do like hanging up lights, and you might as well ask a two year old to create a rocket out of Lincoln Logs. It's impossible to get those brainless tin cans to focus on anything!"

"Well, I know of at least _one_ two year old who could have done that with two hands tied behind his back. They could have finished it; you just didn't give them much of a chance!" Minion answered pointedly.

"Phffft! They were tossing around the decorations and playing tug-of-war with the lights! I had to step in, they needed _managing._"

Minion leaned over to cast a sidelong glance at their guest, and murmured quietly out of the corner of his mouth, "Mmhmm. _Micro-_managing. They really weren't that bad… since this was all for you, everything just _had_ to be perfect, and he wouldn't let anyone else…"

"What was that, Min_-ion?_" shot the villain with a warning glare.

"Nothing, Sir! Nothing…"

Roxanne was touched by Minion's slip about his boss. When she was finally free of the bag and had the chance to take in the magic they'd created for her, she automatically assumed it had been the robo-fish who'd taken care of all the set-up; that seemed to be the sort of thing that would fall under his list of responsibilities when they were at home in the private sections of the Lair. But finding out that it was actually "Sir" himself who'd taken it upon himself to make everything perfect - just for her - made the gift seem even more incredible.

Turning to look at her blue captor with a radiant smile, she offered sincerely, "Megamind, you did a magnificent job; this really is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And not just all of _this_, but all the thought you must have put into it… I can hardly believe it! No one's ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you, so much. I _love_ my gift."

Allowing himself to soak in her genuine gratitude, Megamind couldn't help but wonder what it was about the beautiful but aggravatingly nosy newshound that seemed to be dredging up an uncharacteristic tendency in him to do good lately… and to actually _like_ it. That was something he'd pondered often in the past month as he worked diligently away at her surprise, and wondered if those feelings were the beginnings of an unsettling trend that he should be concerned about. But as they stood close together in the soft glowing light of her Christmas gift, he couldn't care less; seeing her smile at him was the only thing that mattered.

After a moment, Megamind began to realize that he was spending entirely too much time gazing into her baby blues, and quite possibly letting on far more about his feelings for her than he wanted her to know. Instantly forcing himself to shore up those emotions, he changed his smile into a mischievous smirk, and responded, "Well, this isn't it you know; I still have one or two surprises for you up my sleeve..."

Roxanne blinked; she was shocked. "There's… _more?_ Megamind, you really don't have to do that…"

"Oh, _yes_ I do! You see that curtain over there by the door? Just watch…" he said with a grin, and then waving an arm toward the thick, concealing layer of fabric, he boisterously called out, "Brainbots… _NOW!"_

* * *

**I should have the last chapter updated on Thursday morning; I hope you'll come back to see how their Christmas adventure ends. :)**

**If you have a minute, please consider leaving me a review and let me know if you've been enjoying the story. Thanks so much for reading! **_  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for coming back! This is a little later than I promised, but here's the final chapter of their Christmas adventure. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The instant he gave the word, the drape began to sway and ripple with the movement of what Roxanne assumed must be the hidden bots as they began to busy themselves with their secret and important task, and the sound of their mechanical bowging rang out through the air and combined with the metallic clang of the clumsy creatures as they bumped carelessly into one another in the process of scurrying around to do their daddy's bidding. As she curiously watched the situation unfold, a bluish glow began to glimmer around the edge of the drapery, and then suddenly, the fabric was swept away to reveal her next surprise.

A warm, fresh, resinous scent filled the air when the curtain was pulled away to reveal a Christmas tree of magnificent proportions, tall and full and majestic, its tiny clear lights scattering bright pinpoints and stars against the walls that surrounded it. Its top nearly scraped the high, arched ceiling and its abundant, hefty boughs spread wide to completely fill the generous space near the door. The glossy green needles shined faintly in the glow of thousands of winking lights as they wove their way around its fullness and shimmered cozily in the dimly lit room.

"Oh my gosh…" Roxanne breathed as she unconsciously lifted a hand to cover her mouth.

"Do you like it?" her host asked, glancing up at Minion, the two villains exchanging hopeful smiles as they watched her reaction.

"It's…" she began, but then stopped, realizing that nothing she could say would be equal to the thought that he'd put into such a monumental gift. Shaking her head for a moment in disbelief, she turned to him with another brilliant smile, and simply said, "Yeah, I do. I like it more than I could ever say… thank you _so_ much, Megamind."

Her wholehearted offer of thanks was short lived, however. Before she could continue on, her expression of gratitude was rudely interrupted by the mechanical bowging of the brainbots as they suddenly swarmed across the room to circle and weave excitedly above their heads, apparently thrilled that Miss Ritchi had finally arrived.

Roxanne recoiled a bit at their exuberant welcome. She'd never felt completely comfortable with the erratic, temperamental creatures, but ever since they aggressively rushed at her with jaws snapping the last time she visited, her trust in them was at an all-time low. She could never be certain when one of those sharp sets of metal teeth would decide to clamp down painfully on an arm or a leg; she'd seen them do that very thing to their creator more times than she cared to count. Shrinking in closer to the pair of villains as she watched the rambunctious bots dip and reach out for her with grasping metal claws, she began to lift her hands to cautiously cover her head.

"_Megamind…"_ she called out nervously.

"NO! _Shame_ on you… we talked about this before I left, you stupid bags of bolts! Go on, get out of here before I toss you into storage!" her host thundered fiercely as he waved his arms about to swat away his horribly behaved pets. But it seemed that their excitement had already progressed to an uncontrollable level; despite his furious demands, they continued to pester the trio as they stood clustered together in the center of the room.

"_Min-ion!_" Megamind bellowed as he moved in closer to shield the nervous reporter from the wayward cyborgs, silently enjoying the fact that he now had a good excuse to put his arms around his pretty guest.

"I'm on it, Boss!" answered the fish, and then he surged forward to grasp two of the annoying bots right out of the air, latching onto their spindly arms like a leash and giving them a rough shake as he dragged them toward the door.

"Brainbots, _come!_ You go on and leave Miss Ritchi alone; go to the workroom and _stay there,_ or I'm going to make sure you spend the next few days collecting dust in the back of the store room! Now, _shoo!"_

The reinforcement of Daddy's threat of sitting in storage seemed to work wonders with their behavior; within seconds, the pack of boisterous bots had settled and was following Minion to the door, their eyestalks hanging sheepishly as they peered regretfully behind them at the much anticipated party it appeared they were going to be missing out on after all.

When the coast was clear, Roxanne lowered her hands and breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, now I guess I know who the "_we"_ was that Minion was talking about when I first got here. _Whew,_ thanks, you guys. I wish they wouldn't do that; this has happened every time I've seen them lately! What's wrong with them?"

"Oh, they're just excited." Megamind answered dismissively as he reluctantly let go of her and stepped back now that the excitement was over. "They remember all the fun from last time. They may snap at me from time to time, but they know better than to try and bite you; they wouldn't _dare._ Without a doubt, they'll be obnoxious, and they probably won't leave you alone no matter how much I lecture them about it before they see you, but they definitely won't bite."

"Ugh, well, I'd rather not take any chances. I'm not particularly excited about the idea of feeling those bear-traps taking a chunk out of me." she said as she watched the aquatic primate sending their pets off for what she hoped would be the remainder of the day. "Minion, where are _you_ going? You're coming back, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah, I'm coming back! Time for me to round up the service-bots to help me set up _my_ gift to you… I made you dinner! Turkey and stuffing, pumpkin pie, all the stuff I know you love. And this time, instead of throwing it at each other, we'll actually get to _eat_ it!"

Megamind smirked and rolled his eyes jokingly. "Yes, of course. Leave it to our nosy Miss Ritchi to sniff out the exact time to show up so she could invite herself to stay for dinner!"

Roxanne giggled. "I've already guessed that part, Min, I could smell it cooking! I can already tell it's going to be amazing; I can't wait to eat!"

"Well, I'd better get right on it then! I'll send in a service bot with the drinks to get you started and be back in just a little bit. Now remember, no fighting with each other while I'm gone!" ribbed their aquatic friend with a grin, and then he turned to trudge out the door, dragging the last two unfortunate bots along with him.

* * *

As soon as he was gone, a whispery hush of needles rustling together and the clink of ornaments caught their attention as a cluster of low boughs began to sway, gently shaking the entire tree. As the pair watched, a single glimmer of red hidden deep within the sea of clear lights suddenly sprang to life, and a moment later a stray brainbot burst excitedly from the branches, galloping through the air toward them like an excited puppy.

"Ozzy! There you are, you sneaky little devil. Hiding until Minion is out of the room so you won't get kicked out too, eh? I wondered where you were! Good boy… yes, you're a menacingly _good_ little cyborg, aren't you!"

Roxanne stepped back to allow a wide berth between herself and the unusual looking bot, and smilingly watched as her kidnapper babbled to it affectionately.

"I've never seen one like this before; is it new?" she asked curiously, expecting him to give her the usual spiel about need-to-know information and not giving away all his secrets… in short, _it's none of your business!_

To her surprise, he chuckled and answered readily. "Don't you recognize it? This is the little fellow who latched onto you so quickly the last time you were here!"

Roxanne looked at it in surprise, squinting her eyes thoughtfully as she remembered back to the fork-snatching bot that had followed her around and annoyed her to no end that day. "What, you mean Number 121? No, it can't be; this one is completely different! That other one had spikes for one thing, and arms… no way I'd forget about that after it kept throwing potatoes in my hair!"

"Ah, well, Ozzy's had a bit of a facelift since you saw it last. I was never able to completely get the food out of its joints, so I just removed its arms completely. I was _going_ to put them back on once I had them all cleaned up, but when I noticed the way it kept watching my fork during mealtimes, I decided to just leave them off rather than having to retrain the little imp to leave our silverware alone after the round of fetch you played with it. And the spikes; I just thought it might seem more sleek and imposing without them. Look at it… it certainly doesn't need those embellishments to capture pure, unadulterated e-vil!"

Megamind paused, observing his wicked right-hand bot as it capered around him and then hovered forward to wiggle excitedly at his guest, who now, for some reason, didn't seem the least bit intimidated by his favorite pet. In fact, he noticed with mild frustration that she suddenly seemed to feel completely at ease around the robotic creature rather than uncomfortable like she was with the other bots in his army.

He watched as she listened and nodded, and then glanced up at him with that crooked, sarcastic smile that usually signaled a coming zinger and always tended to grate on his nerves, and decided that a more thorough explanation might help to bring the gravity of his idea home. Clearing his throat, he continued on to say in a weighty tone, "You see, it's being retrained as my right-hand bot; Ozzy tends to have the _e-vil_ presence of a villainous lap-cat. Only the greatest e-vil geniuses have one; like Blofeld! The Bond villain, you know…"

Poor Roxanne had been trying as hard as she could to keep a straight face as she listened to him describe the playful, harmless looking bot as pure, unadulterated evil; she could tell he was excited about his idea, and in light of everything he was doing for her, she didn't want to disappoint him. But when he went on to explain his plans to make the friendly creature his villainous lap-cat, all bets were off. The well-meaning reporter instantly burst into laughter that left her gasping and clutching at her stomach, and sent the excitable bot who had decided once again to stick with her like glue into a swirling riot of hyperactivity.

"Ha. _Ha._ Alright, that's enough, _Miss Ritchi_… we'll just see if I ever share any of my secrets with _you_ again after this!" he retorted as he shot her a deep scowl and poked a black gloved finger at her angrily, which further incited the elated cyborg. A moment later, Megamind snatched his finger back, narrowly missing the snap of the bot's metal teeth as it was crazily swept up in the excitement of the moment.

"No, Ozzy! Bad bot, _no biting!_" he barked, and then crossed his arms in front of him furiously, pouting as she continued to laugh at him even harder.

"Ooooh, Megamind… come on, don't be like that! I'm sorry; I can't help it, you're just so _funny!" _she exclaimed breathlessly between giggles, and then reached out to pet the cyborg's bright blue dome as it bobbed in the air in front of her and gazed at her adoringly with its red, shining eye. "Ozzy, huh? That's a good name; I like it. But listen, I gotta ask you, if you really want this guy to be so intimidating, why'd you take off the spikes? It was much more threatening with them on, now it just looks… _cute!"_

As much as he wanted to be annoyed with her for laughing at his grand idea and calling his fearsome pet _cute_, he had to smile. The thought of watching her happily run her delicate hands over Ozzy's smooth, spike free glass was the original daydream that had that had inspired the scheming alien to remove them in the first place. Now, seeing his daydream coming to life before his eyes as she kindly cooed at the metal creature was infinitely better than he imagined.

His musings were interrupted when a group of service-bots burst industriously into the room, packing along with them the dishes and table service necessary to prepare for the fantastic feast that Minion was putting the finishing touches on for them. One of the spherical creatures carried with it a bottle of wine and two glasses, and buzzed directly to the sideboard to pop the cork, pouring a glass of the ruby liquid for daddy and his guest and then sailed across the room to serve them. Just as Minion had thoughtfully instructed before he sent their mechanical waiters on their important mission, the service-bot hovered to Roxanne first and carefully held out the brimming glass, waiting for her to take it.

"Thanks!" she offered brightly, and then moved to stand closer to her host, gazing again at her impressive gift that sparkled by the door. "It really is a pretty tree, and so big! Where'd you find one that size here in the city?"

"Oh, I have my ways." he quickly responded as he took his own glass from their server and then shooed it away. "You know, I just – found it! It's just a _tree_; it doesn't really matter. Not too hard a task to find the right one when you decide exactly what you want…"

Roxanne turned to look at him with one eyebrow raised; she was detecting a bit of reluctance when it came to talking about this particular subject and found herself becoming very curious.

"Well, where'd you get it? Did you go out of town somewhere to find it? I've never seen trees like this at any of the stands around here…"

"No, I didn't go out of town, and do I look the type to frequent Christmas tree stands to begin with? Of course not!" Now he was really trying to avoid answering her prying questions. "Why do you want to know, anyway? It's not that important!"

With a sigh, Roxanne said, "Alright, fair enough; I'll quit bugging you about it if you really want me to. I'm just curious, that's all. I mean, the only place I've ever seen a tree this big and beautiful here in town is that great big one in the park…"

As soon as she mentioned the giant tree that had become something akin to a landmark in the center of their bustling city, Megamind began to look uncomfortable. His vivid green eyes flicked toward her for a second, and then darted guiltily away again, pretending to focus with interest on the progress of the service-bots as they busily set the table.

"Wait a minute… no. You _didn't._"

His only response was an awkward, cringing grin as he peered at her out of the corner of his eyes, apparently still feeling reluctant to make eye contact.

"Megamind! _Really?_ That poor tree has been hanging around for ages and survived more storms and hardships than I can even begin to imagine; including you and your _toys_ when you have your schoolyard brawls with Wayne!"

Megamind set his chin defiantly and answered, "I couldn't just take any puny, pipe-cleaner of a tree; it had to be the _right one_, and that one was it! It's not like I took the whole tree; if it makes you feel any better, we wouldn't have been able to fit the whole thing in here anyway so we just took the _top_ half."

"You took _half_ the tree?" Roxanne asked sadly. She was aghast at the thought of the wide, bushy, pathetic looking tree that he'd left clinging to life in place of the once tall and majestic beauty that was the pride of Metro City Park.

Megamind paused, and then began to snap, "Well, it had to be _perfect_…" but then he stopped, allowing his words to trail off just short of completing his thought with, _because it was for you._

The villain looked completely crestfallen that he seemed to have disappointed her with his gift. Although she knew it would probably bother her for a long time to stroll through the park and see the sad looking stump he'd left behind, seeing that frown made her heart ache. What he'd done might not exactly be _proper_ gift giving etiquette, but considering his background, it was still an incredibly sweet gesture. Besides, he'd done it for her. When she allowed that to sink in, she felt a sudden zing of pride welling up in her heart knowing that nothing but the best would do for his Miss Ritchi.

She smiled, and stepped as close to her host as she could, entwining both of her arms around the crook of his elbow. With a dismissive sigh, she looked at him and cheerfully said, "Oh well. You know, it might just end up making the park a little more interesting this way; like I said, that old thing has been there _forever_. Maybe it was time for a change of scene… we could do with a little shaking up like that every now and then! But you know, _maybe_ next time you could think about decorating a tree right there in the park? That way we'll be able to come back to it every year! Just a thought…"

He glanced up at her and gave her a hopeful smile. _Next time?_

She laughed and squeezed his arm, and went on to say, "Megs, you did it again; you surprised the heck out of me and turned another blah holiday into the best one I've ever had. Is this one of your plans? To show me such a good time, it ruins the idea of me spending my holidays anywhere else? Now, if _that's_ what you're doing, it's crafty, and _very_ wicked. I think maybe your most evil scheme yet!"

He chuckled, instantly revived by her teasing admission. "Of course, you know I can't tell you even if that _is_ my plan… but, just out of curiosity in case you're right about that, would you say it was working?"

With a humming giggle, she raised an eyebrow and said, "I _can't_ give away all my secrets! You're just going to have to guess! And now, speaking of plans, what about the plan you were talking about back at my apartment; the one that we were supposed to get to after you gave me my gift? Are you going to give me a heads up about what I should expect to go through after dinner, or is that part of my surprise for the day too?"

Her host was caught off guard by her mention of the plan he brought up when he'd first gone to pick her up; he had almost forgotten about that. "Ah! Well, you see, there _was_ a little something I tentatively had in mind, but it's nothing that can't wait. After all, the day is wearing on. It took far longer to get here than I thought with Metro Geek showing up at your apartment, and now Minion's about to bring out dinner; we certainly don't want to rush through that after all the time he put into it! And when that's over I'm sure no one will feel like jumping right up to get to work, we'll probably want to just sit back for a while and take our time. When we finally get done with everything it'll be getting late, so… you know, I think it's probably best to just wait for another day."

Roxanne grinned. Now she understood what he meant when he said "if we get around to it". He never had any intention of putting her in that chair to begin with; _this_ had been the whole of his plan for her all along, to give her the best Christmas she'd ever had. Allowing her grasp on him to loosen so she could slide her hand tenderly down his arm, she took his hand and held it tightly. As their fingers intertwined, she smiled at him and said, "Merry Christmas, Megamind."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Roxanne." he answered softly, and then smiled back as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

_Huh! Who knew that a silly, useless, sentimental holiday like this one could turn out to be so wonderful?_ He thought to himself. As she beamed at him in the soft illumination of the lights that twinkled all around them and held his hand affectionately, the hard-boiled villain happily made up his mind that as long as he could always find a way to spend it with her, maybe Christmas wasn't quite so silly after all.

* * *

**I know this is such a busy time of year for everyone, so I hope you know it means the world to me that you took the time to follow this story through to the end. I hope you enjoyed it! :)**

**If you have a minute, I'd really love to hear from you! Please leave me a review to let me know how I'm doing; just a few kind words of encouragement to help give me the inspiration and drive to write again... and hearing from you will certainly help to give me a wonderfully happy holiday!**

**Thank you again for reading, and _Merry Christmas!_**


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